MARKET: +14.2% ▲ ALL-TIME HIGH MOM & POP: MOAT AT ATH ($840 Moat Absorbing) SCRAPPY: +38.5% ▲ 42x Unpaid Interns Leveraged SERGEI: +21.0% ▲ 10,000 Bot Workers Deployed BARON: -3.1% ▼ Injunction Overruled by Cayman Court AMAZOFF: -12.8% ▼ Liquidated in Year 4 SEC STATUS: 0 SUBPOENAS FILED (COMPLIANCE WAIVED) CRASH WARNING: T-30s TICK COMMENCING MARKET: +14.2% ▲ ALL-TIME HIGH MOM & POP: MOAT AT ATH ($840 Moat Absorbing) SCRAPPY: +38.5% ▲ 42x Unpaid Interns Leveraged SERGEI: +21.0% ▲ 10,000 Bot Workers Deployed BARON: -3.1% ▼ Injunction Overruled by Cayman Court AMAZOFF: -12.8% ▼ Liquidated in Year 4
◀ Boardroom Analytics / vendor.break_room
STATUS: LICENSED MERCHANT
UC
The Break Room
Asset Market 🏷️ 15% OFF 📦 4 Stock Slots 🛒 1.11 Sales / Visit ALL FOUNDERS YEAR 1–5

The Break Room

“The lights hum, the fridge is labelled, and something in the microwave has been there since Q2.”
Merchant Identifier: vendor.break_room

Buy break room perks

Commercial Terms & Encounter Mechanics

Statutory Market Invariants

Operating rules governing inventory allocation, pricing modifiers, and encounter routing:

SHELF CAPACITY 4 Offers / Roll
PRICING TERMS 15% Off
ENCOUNTER WEIGHT Weight 85
Stocking Mechanism: Curated Asset Pool (29 Designated Cards)
Restock Rule: Static Shelf (Does not refill upon purchase; requires paid reroll)
Most Acquired At This Merchant
Severance Package (4 sold) Alumni Network (3 sold) Space Heater (3 sold) Catered Lunch (2 sold) Company Store (2 sold)

Commerce Performance Telemetry

Version Current Filings
VISIT CONVERSION (PICK RATE)
25.7% (27 / 105 offers)

Rate at which executive founders prioritize visiting this merchant when offered.

SALES PER VISIT
1.11 cards / stop

Founders buy an average of 1.11 cards per stop (28% shelf clearance of 4 slots).

TOTAL SALES & REVENUE
30 items ($881 spend)

Gross inventory acquired across all runs (0 upgrades purchased).

Recent Merchant Sales

Executive Transaction Audit
Asset Sold Price Type Time
$11 NEW UNIT 2 days ago
$38 NEW UNIT 2 days ago
$17 NEW UNIT 10 days ago
$17 NEW UNIT 10 days ago
$40 NEW UNIT 12 days ago
$38 NEW UNIT 12 days ago
$11 NEW UNIT 12 days ago
$34 NEW UNIT 12 days ago
$127 NEW UNIT 12 days ago
$10 NEW UNIT 12 days ago

Authorized Shelf Inventory & Options

All eligible corporate assets rolled on The Break Room's shelves. Sized according to 1-, 2-, and 3-width board footprints.

▫ 22 Small (1-Slot) ▫▫ 5 Medium (2-Slot) ▫▫▫ 2 Large (3-Slot)
Size:
Filter Tag:
▼ 30 ◈ 40
1-SLOT
Key Person Insurance

Key Person Insurance

BASIC
SMALL BENEFIT
9.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 30 Loss.
▸ When one of your Employees is Liquidated, permanently gain 8 Funding and 40 Moat.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Liquidate
Removed for the rest of the battle.

Key Person Insurance

Rare ▫ 1-Slot
$55 Funding List: $65
-15% OFF

Inflict 30 Loss. When one of your Employees is Liquidated, permanently gain 8 Funding and 40 Moat.

Pick Rate 50.0% (1/2)
Win Rate 0.0% (0W/1L)
Merchant Volume: 0 acquisitions here
2-SLOT
Early Retirement

Early Retirement

BASIC
MEDIUM BENEFIT
9.0
SEC
▸ Liquidate the Employee to your right.
▸ Permanently gain +10 Valuation.
Liquidate
Removed for the rest of the battle.

Early Retirement

Rare ▫▫ 2-Slot
$23 Funding List: $28
-15% OFF

Liquidate the Employee to your right. Permanently gain +10 Valuation.

Pick Rate 50.0% (2/4)
Win Rate 0.0% (0W/0L)
Merchant Volume: 0 acquisitions here
◈ 10
1-SLOT
Soylent

Soylent

BASIC
SMALL BENEFIT
5.0
SEC
▸ Gain 10 Moat.
▸ When one of your Humans Profits, this gains +5 Moat.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.

Soylent

Uncommon ▫ 1-Slot
$29 Funding List: $35
-15% OFF

Gain 10 Moat. When one of your Humans Profits, this gains +5 Moat.

Pick Rate 50.0% (1/2)
Win Rate 0.0% (0W/0L)
Merchant Volume: 0 acquisitions here
▲ 20
1-SLOT
Office Dog

Office Dog

BASIC
SMALL ANIMAL
6.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track adjacent Employees 1s.
▸ Profit 20.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.

Office Dog

Common ▫ 1-Slot
$20 Funding List: $24
-15% OFF

Fast Track adjacent Employees 1s. Profit 20.

Pick Rate 41.7% (5/12)
Win Rate 0.0% (0W/1L)
Merchant Volume: 2 acquisitions here
◈ 15
1-SLOT
Space Heater

Space Heater

BASIC
SMALL MACHINE
4.0
SEC
▸ Gain 15 Moat.
▸ While Burned Out, Overwork adjacent Employees 1s.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Overwork
The asset works twice as fast while Overworked.
Burnout
An asset pushed past one act per second is Burned Out: more speed is lost — but some cards pay off when it happens.

Space Heater

Common ▫ 1-Slot
$25 Funding List: $30
-15% OFF

Gain 15 Moat. While Burned Out, Overwork adjacent Employees 1s.

Pick Rate 36.2% (25/69)
Win Rate 50.0% (1W/1L)
Merchant Volume: 3 acquisitions here
1-SLOT
Noise-Cancelling Headphones

Noise-Cancelling Headphones

BASIC
SMALL MACHINE BENEFIT
7.0
SEC
▸ Overwork adjacent Employees 2s.
▸ Adjacent Employees cannot be Slowed or Audited.
Overwork
The asset works twice as fast while Overworked.
Slow
The asset works at half speed while Slowed.
Audit
The asset stops entirely while under Audit.

Noise-Cancelling Headphones

Rare ▫ 1-Slot
$6 Funding List: $8
-15% OFF

Overwork adjacent Employees 2s. Adjacent Employees cannot be Slowed or Audited.

Pick Rate 35.7% (5/14)
Win Rate 0.0% (0W/1L)
Merchant Volume: 1 acquisition here
▲ 10
1-SLOT
Office Hamster

Office Hamster

BASIC
SMALL ANIMAL EMPLOYEE
2.0
SEC
▸ Profit 10.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.

Office Hamster

Common ▫ 1-Slot
$15 Funding List: $18
-15% OFF

Profit 10.

Pick Rate 32.5% (13/40)
Win Rate 0.0% (0W/7L)
Merchant Volume: 0 acquisitions here
◈ 12
1-SLOT
People Ops

People Ops

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Gain 12 Moat.
▸ Whenever one of your Benefits activates, Fast Track a random Employee 0.5s.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.

People Ops

Uncommon ▫ 1-Slot
$11 Funding List: $14
-15% OFF

Gain 12 Moat. Whenever one of your Benefits activates, Fast Track a random Employee 0.5s.

Pick Rate 32.4% (11/34)
Win Rate 0.0% (0W/1L)
Merchant Volume: 2 acquisitions here
◈ 20
1-SLOT
Severance Package

Severance Package

BASIC
SMALL BENEFIT
8.0
SEC
▸ Gain 20 Moat.
▸ When one of your Employees is Liquidated, permanently gain 5 Funding.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Liquidate
Removed for the rest of the battle.

Severance Package

Uncommon ▫ 1-Slot
$38 Funding List: $45
-15% OFF

Gain 20 Moat. When one of your Employees is Liquidated, permanently gain 5 Funding.

Pick Rate 31.8% (7/22)
Win Rate 0.0% (0W/0L)
Merchant Volume: 4 acquisitions here
◈ 10
1-SLOT
Comfy Chair

Comfy Chair

BASIC
SMALL PROPERTY BENEFIT
7.0
SEC
▸ Gain 10 Moat.
▸ Whenever this is Slowed, gain 25 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Slow
The asset works at half speed while Slowed.

Comfy Chair

Common ▫ 1-Slot
$17 Funding List: $20
-15% OFF

Gain 10 Moat. Whenever this is Slowed, gain 25 Moat.

Pick Rate 29.4% (20/68)
Win Rate 0.0% (0W/2L)
Merchant Volume: 0 acquisitions here
▲ 8
1-SLOT
Company Store

Company Store

BASIC
SMALL BENEFIT
6.0
SEC
▸ Profit 8 for each of your Employees.
▸ Gain 1 Debt.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Debt
Recurring Loss that ignores Moat and never goes away on its own.

Company Store

Uncommon ▫ 1-Slot
$10 Funding List: $12
-15% OFF

Profit 8 for each of your Employees. Gain 1 Debt.

Pick Rate 27.6% (8/29)
Win Rate 0.0% (0W/0L)
Merchant Volume: 2 acquisitions here
▲ 60 ◈ 30
2-SLOT
Dog-Friendly Office

Dog-Friendly Office

BASIC
MEDIUM PROPERTY
6.0
SEC
▸ Profit 60.
▸ For each Animal you control, gain 30 Moat.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.

Dog-Friendly Office

Uncommon ▫▫ 2-Slot
$127 Funding List: $150
-15% OFF

Profit 60. For each Animal you control, gain 30 Moat.

Pick Rate 26.7% (8/30)
Win Rate 100.0% (1W/0L)
Merchant Volume: 2 acquisitions here
▲ 10
1-SLOT
Alumni Network

Alumni Network

BASIC
SMALL BENEFIT
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 10.
▸ When you sell an Employee, this permanently gains +10 Profit.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.

Alumni Network

Common ▫ 1-Slot
$17 Funding List: $20
-15% OFF

Profit 10. When you sell an Employee, this permanently gains +10 Profit.

Pick Rate 24.4% (11/45)
Win Rate 0.0% (0W/0L)
Merchant Volume: 3 acquisitions here
1-SLOT
Rubber Duck

Rubber Duck

BASIC
SMALL ANIMAL SERVICE
4.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track an adjacent Employee 1.5s.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.

Rubber Duck

Common ▫ 1-Slot
$5 Funding List: $6
-15% OFF

Fast Track an adjacent Employee 1.5s.

Pick Rate 24.2% (129/532)
Win Rate 10.5% (6W/51L)
Merchant Volume: 2 acquisitions here
1-SLOT
Guinea Pig

Guinea Pig

BASIC
SMALL ANIMAL EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸ Overwork your adjacent Machines 2.5s.
Overwork
The asset works twice as fast while Overworked.

Guinea Pig

Common ▫ 1-Slot
$11 Funding List: $14
-15% OFF

Overwork your adjacent Machines 2.5s.

Pick Rate 24.1% (90/374)
Win Rate 23.8% (5W/16L)
Merchant Volume: 2 acquisitions here
▲ 20
1-SLOT
Coffee Chat

Coffee Chat

BASIC
SMALL BENEFIT
6.0
SEC
▸ Profit 20.
▸ When either adjacent Employee activates, Fast Track both adjacent Employees 0.5s.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.

Coffee Chat

Common ▫ 1-Slot
$15 Funding List: $18
-15% OFF

Profit 20. When either adjacent Employee activates, Fast Track both adjacent Employees 0.5s.

Pick Rate 21.9% (16/73)
Win Rate 33.3% (1W/2L)
Merchant Volume: 0 acquisitions here
◈ 20
1-SLOT
Catered Lunch

Catered Lunch

BASIC
SMALL BENEFIT
6.0
SEC
▸ Gain 20 Moat.
▸ Your Employees produce +10 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.

Catered Lunch

Uncommon ▫ 1-Slot
$59 Funding List: $70
-15% OFF

Gain 20 Moat. Your Employees produce +10 Moat.

Pick Rate 21.4% (3/14)
Win Rate 0.0% (0W/0L)
Merchant Volume: 2 acquisitions here
1-SLOT
Hot Desk

Hot Desk

BASIC
SMALL PROPERTY BENEFIT
4.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track the asset to your right 1s.
▸ Move this asset one slot right.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.

Hot Desk

Uncommon ▫ 1-Slot
$6 Funding List: $8
-15% OFF

Fast Track the asset to your right 1s. Move this asset one slot right.

Pick Rate 19.6% (11/56)
Win Rate 57.1% (4W/3L)
Merchant Volume: 2 acquisitions here
◈ 60
2-SLOT
Pink Elephant

Pink Elephant

BASIC
MEDIUM ANIMAL
6.0
SEC
▸ Gain 60 Moat.
▸ Gain 5 Scandal.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Scandal
Fast recurring Loss that ignores Moat — but it blows over.

Pink Elephant

Common ▫▫ 2-Slot
$46 Funding List: $55
-15% OFF

Gain 60 Moat. Gain 5 Scandal.

Pick Rate 18.3% (28/153)
Win Rate 33.3% (1W/2L)
Merchant Volume: 0 acquisitions here
2-SLOT
Coffee Machine

Coffee Machine

BASIC
MEDIUM MACHINE BENEFIT
4.0
SEC
▸ Overwork adjacent Employees 1s.
Overwork
The asset works twice as fast while Overworked.

Coffee Machine

Common ▫▫ 2-Slot
$5 Funding List: $6
-15% OFF

Overwork adjacent Employees 1s.

Pick Rate 17.8% (32/180)
Win Rate 23.1% (3W/10L)
Merchant Volume: 0 acquisitions here
3-SLOT
Ping Pong Table

Ping Pong Table

BASIC
LARGE PROPERTY BENEFIT
5.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track adjacent Employees 1s.
▸ Overwork adjacent Employees 1s.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Overwork
The asset works twice as fast while Overworked.

Ping Pong Table

Uncommon ▫▫▫ 3-Slot
$17 Funding List: $20
-15% OFF

Fast Track adjacent Employees 1s. Overwork adjacent Employees 1s.

Pick Rate 15.1% (8/53)
Win Rate 100.0% (1W/0L)
Merchant Volume: 1 acquisition here
▲ 15
1-SLOT
Pizza Party

Pizza Party

BASIC
SMALL BENEFIT
6.0
SEC
▸ Overwork adjacent Employees 1s.
▸ Profit 15.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Overwork
The asset works twice as fast while Overworked.

Pizza Party

Common ▫ 1-Slot
$11 Funding List: $14
-15% OFF

Overwork adjacent Employees 1s. Profit 15.

Pick Rate 14.3% (8/56)
Win Rate 0.0% (0W/1L)
Merchant Volume: 1 acquisition here
◈ 50
1-SLOT
Nap Pod

Nap Pod

BASIC
SMALL PROPERTY BENEFIT
5.0
SEC
▸ Audit one of your Employees 1s.
▸ Gain 50 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Audit
The asset stops entirely while under Audit.

Nap Pod

Common ▫ 1-Slot
$63 Funding List: $75
-15% OFF

Audit one of your Employees 1s. Gain 50 Moat.

Pick Rate 12.9% (9/70)
Win Rate 60.0% (3W/2L)
Merchant Volume: 1 acquisition here
◈ 30
1-SLOT
Office Cat

Office Cat

BASIC
SMALL ANIMAL
9.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track an adjacent Employee 3s.
▸ Gain 30 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.

Office Cat

Common ▫ 1-Slot
$22 Funding List: $26
-15% OFF

Fast Track an adjacent Employee 3s. Gain 30 Moat.

Pick Rate 12.5% (1/8)
Win Rate 50.0% (1W/1L)
Merchant Volume: 0 acquisitions here
◈ 40
1-SLOT
Kombucha Tap

Kombucha Tap

BASIC
SMALL SERVICE MACHINE BENEFIT
6.0
SEC
▸ Gain 40 Moat.
▸ Gain 1 Scandal.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Scandal
Fast recurring Loss that ignores Moat — but it blows over.

Kombucha Tap

Common ▫ 1-Slot
$42 Funding List: $50
-15% OFF

Gain 40 Moat. Gain 1 Scandal.

Pick Rate 9.7% (7/72)
Win Rate 60.0% (3W/2L)
Merchant Volume: 0 acquisitions here
1-SLOT
Stock Options

Stock Options

BASIC
SMALL BENEFIT
8.0
SEC
▸ Permanently gain +6 Valuation.
▸ Your Employees produce 5 less Profit.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.

Stock Options

Uncommon ▫ 1-Slot
$13 Funding List: $16
-15% OFF

Permanently gain +6 Valuation. Your Employees produce 5 less Profit.

Pick Rate 0.0% (0/2)
Win Rate 100.0% (1W/0L)
Merchant Volume: 0 acquisitions here
▼ 10
2-SLOT
Retraining Program

Retraining Program

BASIC
MEDIUM BENEFIT
10.0
SEC
▸ Liquidate your smallest Employee.
▸ Your Machines permanently gain +10 Loss.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Liquidate
Removed for the rest of the battle.

Retraining Program

Rare ▫▫ 2-Slot
$23 Funding List: $28
-15% OFF

Liquidate your smallest Employee. Your Machines permanently gain +10 Loss.

Pick Rate 0.0% (0/1)
Win Rate 0.0% (0W/0L)
Merchant Volume: 0 acquisitions here
▲ 10 ▼ 10
3-SLOT
Kitchen Sink

Kitchen Sink

BASIC
LARGE MACHINE PROPERTY BENEFIT SERVICE SCHEME HUMAN EMPLOYEE ANIMAL VEHICLE AI
6.0
SEC
▸ Profit 10.
▸ Inflict 10 Loss.
▸ Gain 10 Moat, 1 Revenue and 10% Market Share.
▸ Apply 1 Debt and 2 Scandal to the rival.
▸ Remove 1 of your Debt and 1 of your Scandal.
▸ Fast Track an adjacent asset 0.5s.
▸ Slow a random rival asset 0.5s.
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Debt
Recurring Loss that ignores Moat and never goes away on its own.
Scandal
Fast recurring Loss that ignores Moat — but it blows over.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Slow
The asset works at half speed while Slowed.
Market Share
A percentage of Loss dealt to rival Cash returns as Profit.

Kitchen Sink

Uncommon ▫▫▫ 3-Slot
$46 Funding List: $55
-15% OFF

Profit 10. Inflict 10 Loss. Gain 10 Moat, 1 Revenue and 10% Market Share. Apply 1 Debt and 2 Scandal to the rival. Remove 1 of your Debt and 1 of your Scandal. Fast Track an adjacent asset 0.5s. Slow a random rival asset 0.5s.

Pick Rate 0.0% (0/0)
Win Rate 0.0% (0W/0L)
Merchant Volume: 0 acquisitions here
▲ 20
1-SLOT
Free Lunch

Free Lunch

BASIC
SMALL BENEFIT
5.0
SEC
▸ Profit 20.
▸ At the start of battle, gain 2 Debt.
▸ Always costs 0 Funding.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Debt
Recurring Loss that ignores Moat and never goes away on its own.

Free Lunch

Common ▫ 1-Slot
$8 Funding List: $10
-15% OFF

Profit 20. At the start of battle, gain 2 Debt. Always costs 0 Funding.

Pick Rate 0.0% (0/2)
Win Rate 0.0% (0W/0L)
Merchant Volume: 0 acquisitions here