MARKET: +14.2% ▲ ALL-TIME HIGH MOM & POP: MOAT AT ATH ($840 Moat Absorbing) SCRAPPY: +38.5% ▲ 42x Unpaid Interns Leveraged SERGEI: +21.0% ▲ 10,000 Bot Workers Deployed BARON: -3.1% ▼ Injunction Overruled by Cayman Court AMAZOFF: -12.8% ▼ Liquidated in Year 4 SEC STATUS: 0 SUBPOENAS FILED (COMPLIANCE WAIVED) CRASH WARNING: T-30s TICK COMMENCING MARKET: +14.2% ▲ ALL-TIME HIGH MOM & POP: MOAT AT ATH ($840 Moat Absorbing) SCRAPPY: +38.5% ▲ 42x Unpaid Interns Leveraged SERGEI: +21.0% ▲ 10,000 Bot Workers Deployed BARON: -3.1% ▼ Injunction Overruled by Cayman Court AMAZOFF: -12.8% ▼ Liquidated in Year 4
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Corporate Dossier
Ultracapitalism / Company Archives Bankruptcy Filed
Baron, company founder
Founded by Baron

Instant Noodle Equity

5 Years in business

Financial Summary

Final Valuation
$490
Final Liquid Funding
$1,046
Fiscal Review Record
2 Wins / 3 Setbacks

Asset Portfolio

▼ 40
Consultant

Consultant

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE SERVICE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
▲ 120
Unpaid Intern
✦ MVP ✦

Unpaid Intern

PRO
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 120.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
▲ 50 ▼ 50
Temp Worker

Temp Worker

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 50.
▸ Inflict 50 Loss.
▸ Liquidate this.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Liquidate
Removed for the rest of the battle.
▲ 10
Fundraising Gala

Fundraising Gala

BASIC
LARGE PROPERTY
3.0
SEC
▸ Profit 10 for each Human you control.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
▼ 40
Data Scientist

Data Scientist

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track your fastest asset 1.5s.
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
▲ 30
Scrum Master

Scrum Master

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
9.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track adjacent Employees 1.5s.
▸ Profit 30.
▸ Scale +1 while adjacent to an Employee.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Scale
The asset's effects trigger additional times each time it acts.
▲ 30
Unpaid Intern

Unpaid Intern

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 30.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
▲ 15
Executive Assistant

Executive Assistant

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸ Overwork the Employee to your left 2s.
▸ Profit 15.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Overwork
The asset works twice as fast while Overworked.

Corporate Policies

Hustle Culture
◆
#1
▸ Your Employees act 5% faster.
▸ Start each battle with 5 Debt.
Debt
Recurring Loss that ignores Moat and never goes away on its own.
Old Money Rules
◆
#2
▸ Start each battle with 100 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Regulatory Capture
◆
#3
▸ When you apply Scandal, gain 6 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Scandal
Fast recurring Loss that ignores Moat — but it blows over.
Lean Operations
◆
#4
▸ Your assets act 0.1s faster.
Austerity Measures
◆
#5
▸ Start each battle with 100 Moat.
▸ Your assets Profit 5 less.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Open Door Policy
◆
#6
▸ When one of your Employees is Slowed, Fast Track it 1.5s.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Slow
The asset works at half speed while Slowed.
Work/Life Balance
◆
#7
▸ When one of your Employees activates, Profit 50.
▸ Your Employees act 0.1s slower.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
POLICY SLOT
#8

Fiscal Growth Timeline

INSOLVENCY FILED
Cumulative Wins
Cumulative Losses
Bankruptcy Limit (3)
Conceded 3 fatal setbacks by Fiscal Year 5, triggering mandatory corporate bankruptcy.
FINAL OUTCOME • FISCAL YEAR 5 • $490 VALUATION • 2 Wins / 3 Setbacks
0 Baseline 2 ▲ 3 BANKRUPTCY 4 6 ★ 8 DOMINATION Yr 1 $160 Fiscal Year 1: 0 Wins, 1 Setbacks, $160 Valuation Yr 2 $210 Fiscal Year 2: 0 Wins, 2 Setbacks, $210 Valuation Yr 3 $270 Fiscal Year 3: 1 Wins, 2 Setbacks, $270 Valuation Yr 4 $335 Fiscal Year 4: 2 Wins, 2 Setbacks, $335 Valuation Yr 5 $490 Fiscal Year 5: 2 Wins, 3 Setbacks, $490 Valuation
Audit Raw Fiscal Records (Tabular Breakdown)
Fiscal Year Closing Valuation Cumulative Wins Cumulative Setbacks Status
Year 1 $160 0 1 Setback
Year 2 $210 0 2 1 Strike Left
Year 3 $270 1 2 1 Strike Left
Year 4 $335 2 2 1 Strike Left
Year 5 $490 2 3 Bankrupt

Quarterly Shareholder Report →

Ongoing Boardroom Performance

At each year-end, an audit snapshot of Instant Noodle Equity is filed to challenge rival corporate executives during their End-of-Year Showdowns.

Showdown Record
2W / 1L
3 battles fought as rival board
Board Win Rate
66.7%
2 rivals repelled
Active Board Snapshots
6 Filings
Years 1 through 5

Annual Boardroom Snapshots

Historical portfolio audits captured at the conclusion of each fiscal year.

6 Years Archived
YEAR 1 $160 0W - 0S
Assets
Consultant

Consultant

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE SERVICE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Interest Check

Interest Check

BASIC
SMALL PROPERTY
8.0
SEC
▸ Gain 2 Revenue.
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Unpaid Intern

Unpaid Intern

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 30.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loan Shark

Loan Shark

BASIC
SMALL ANIMAL SERVICE
5.0
SEC
▸ Profit 20.
▸ Inflict 20 Loss.
▸ Gain 1 Debt.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Debt
Recurring Loss that ignores Moat and never goes away on its own.
◈
◈
◈
◈
◈
◈
Policies
Hustle Culture
▸ Your Employees act 5% faster.
▸ Start each battle with 5 Debt.
Debt
Recurring Loss that ignores Moat and never goes away on its own.
YEAR 2 $210 0W - 1S
Assets
Consultant

Consultant

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE SERVICE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Unpaid Intern

Unpaid Intern

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 30.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Animal Lover

Animal Lover

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
6.0
SEC
▸ Gain 10 Moat for every Animal you have.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Fundraising Gala

Fundraising Gala

BASIC
LARGE PROPERTY
3.0
SEC
▸ Profit 10 for each Human you control.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
◈
◈
◈
◈
Policies
Hustle Culture
▸ Your Employees act 5% faster.
▸ Start each battle with 5 Debt.
Debt
Recurring Loss that ignores Moat and never goes away on its own.
Old Money Rules
▸ Start each battle with 100 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Regulatory Capture
▸ When you apply Scandal, gain 6 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Scandal
Fast recurring Loss that ignores Moat — but it blows over.
YEAR 3 $270 0W - 2S
Assets
Consultant

Consultant

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE SERVICE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Unpaid Intern

Unpaid Intern

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 30.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Temp Worker

Temp Worker

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 50.
▸ Inflict 50 Loss.
▸ Liquidate this.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Liquidate
Removed for the rest of the battle.
Fundraising Gala

Fundraising Gala

BASIC
LARGE PROPERTY
3.0
SEC
▸ Profit 10 for each Human you control.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Account Manager

Account Manager

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE SERVICE
7.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 15 Loss.
▸ Gain 30% Market Share.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Market Share
A percentage of Loss dealt to rival Cash returns as Profit.
Scrum Master

Scrum Master

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
9.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track adjacent Employees 1s.
▸ Profit 15.
▸ Scale +1 while adjacent to an Employee.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Scale
The asset's effects trigger additional times each time it acts.
◈
◈
Policies
Hustle Culture
▸ Your Employees act 5% faster.
▸ Start each battle with 5 Debt.
Debt
Recurring Loss that ignores Moat and never goes away on its own.
Old Money Rules
▸ Start each battle with 100 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Regulatory Capture
▸ When you apply Scandal, gain 6 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Scandal
Fast recurring Loss that ignores Moat — but it blows over.
Lean Operations
▸ Your assets act 0.1s faster.
YEAR 4 $335 1W - 2S
Assets
Consultant

Consultant

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE SERVICE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Unpaid Intern
+

Unpaid Intern

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 60.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Temp Worker

Temp Worker

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 50.
▸ Inflict 50 Loss.
▸ Liquidate this.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Liquidate
Removed for the rest of the battle.
Fundraising Gala

Fundraising Gala

BASIC
LARGE PROPERTY
3.0
SEC
▸ Profit 10 for each Human you control.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Data Scientist
+

Data Scientist

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track your fastest asset 1.5s.
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Scrum Master
+

Scrum Master

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
9.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track adjacent Employees 1.5s.
▸ Profit 30.
▸ Scale +1 while adjacent to an Employee.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Scale
The asset's effects trigger additional times each time it acts.
Executive Assistant

Executive Assistant

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸ Overwork the Employee to your left 2s.
▸ Profit 15.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Overwork
The asset works twice as fast while Overworked.
Unpaid Intern

Unpaid Intern

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 30.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Policies
Hustle Culture
▸ Your Employees act 5% faster.
▸ Start each battle with 5 Debt.
Debt
Recurring Loss that ignores Moat and never goes away on its own.
Old Money Rules
▸ Start each battle with 100 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Regulatory Capture
▸ When you apply Scandal, gain 6 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Scandal
Fast recurring Loss that ignores Moat — but it blows over.
Lean Operations
▸ Your assets act 0.1s faster.
Austerity Measures
▸ Start each battle with 100 Moat.
▸ Your assets Profit 5 less.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
YEAR 5 $415 2W - 2S
Assets
Consultant

Consultant

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE SERVICE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Unpaid Intern
++

Unpaid Intern

PRO
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 120.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Temp Worker

Temp Worker

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 50.
▸ Inflict 50 Loss.
▸ Liquidate this.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Liquidate
Removed for the rest of the battle.
Fundraising Gala

Fundraising Gala

BASIC
LARGE PROPERTY
3.0
SEC
▸ Profit 10 for each Human you control.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Data Scientist
+

Data Scientist

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track your fastest asset 1.5s.
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Scrum Master
+

Scrum Master

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
9.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track adjacent Employees 1.5s.
▸ Profit 30.
▸ Scale +1 while adjacent to an Employee.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Scale
The asset's effects trigger additional times each time it acts.
Unpaid Intern

Unpaid Intern

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 30.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Executive Assistant

Executive Assistant

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸ Overwork the Employee to your left 2s.
▸ Profit 15.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Overwork
The asset works twice as fast while Overworked.
Policies
Hustle Culture
▸ Your Employees act 5% faster.
▸ Start each battle with 5 Debt.
Debt
Recurring Loss that ignores Moat and never goes away on its own.
Old Money Rules
▸ Start each battle with 100 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Regulatory Capture
▸ When you apply Scandal, gain 6 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Scandal
Fast recurring Loss that ignores Moat — but it blows over.
Lean Operations
▸ Your assets act 0.1s faster.
Austerity Measures
▸ Start each battle with 100 Moat.
▸ Your assets Profit 5 less.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Open Door Policy
▸ When one of your Employees is Slowed, Fast Track it 1.5s.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Slow
The asset works at half speed while Slowed.
Work/Life Balance
▸ When one of your Employees activates, Profit 50.
▸ Your Employees act 0.1s slower.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
YEAR 5 $415 2W - 2S
Assets
Consultant

Consultant

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE SERVICE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Unpaid Intern
++

Unpaid Intern

PRO
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 120.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Temp Worker

Temp Worker

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 50.
▸ Inflict 50 Loss.
▸ Liquidate this.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Liquidate
Removed for the rest of the battle.
Fundraising Gala

Fundraising Gala

BASIC
LARGE PROPERTY
3.0
SEC
▸ Profit 10 for each Human you control.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Data Scientist
+

Data Scientist

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track your fastest asset 1.5s.
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Scrum Master
+

Scrum Master

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
9.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track adjacent Employees 1.5s.
▸ Profit 30.
▸ Scale +1 while adjacent to an Employee.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Scale
The asset's effects trigger additional times each time it acts.
Unpaid Intern

Unpaid Intern

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 30.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Executive Assistant

Executive Assistant

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸ Overwork the Employee to your left 2s.
▸ Profit 15.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Overwork
The asset works twice as fast while Overworked.
Policies
Hustle Culture
▸ Your Employees act 5% faster.
▸ Start each battle with 5 Debt.
Debt
Recurring Loss that ignores Moat and never goes away on its own.
Old Money Rules
▸ Start each battle with 100 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Regulatory Capture
▸ When you apply Scandal, gain 6 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Scandal
Fast recurring Loss that ignores Moat — but it blows over.
Lean Operations
▸ Your assets act 0.1s faster.
Austerity Measures
▸ Start each battle with 100 Moat.
▸ Your assets Profit 5 less.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Open Door Policy
▸ When one of your Employees is Slowed, Fast Track it 1.5s.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Slow
The asset works at half speed while Slowed.
Work/Life Balance
▸ When one of your Employees activates, Profit 50.
▸ Your Employees act 0.1s slower.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.

Exhibit / Corporate Fingerprint

Company DNA

Composition of the final board

4 types
One corporate identity
  • Employee ×7
    Employee / 7 assets
    • Consultant
    • Unpaid Intern ×2
    • Temp Worker
    • Data Scientist
    • Scrum Master
    • Executive Assistant
  • Human ×7
    Human / 7 assets
    • Consultant
    • Unpaid Intern ×2
    • Temp Worker
    • Data Scientist
    • Scrum Master
    • Executive Assistant
  • Property ×1
    Property / 1 asset
    • Fundraising Gala
  • Service ×1
    Service / 1 asset
    • Consultant
Larger type · Greater presenceInspect a type to reveal its assets ↗