MARKET: +14.2% ▲ ALL-TIME HIGH MOM & POP: MOAT AT ATH ($840 Moat Absorbing) SCRAPPY: +38.5% ▲ 42x Unpaid Interns Leveraged SERGEI: +21.0% ▲ 10,000 Bot Workers Deployed BARON: -3.1% ▼ Injunction Overruled by Cayman Court AMAZOFF: -12.8% ▼ Liquidated in Year 4 SEC STATUS: 0 SUBPOENAS FILED (COMPLIANCE WAIVED) CRASH WARNING: T-30s TICK COMMENCING MARKET: +14.2% ▲ ALL-TIME HIGH MOM & POP: MOAT AT ATH ($840 Moat Absorbing) SCRAPPY: +38.5% ▲ 42x Unpaid Interns Leveraged SERGEI: +21.0% ▲ 10,000 Bot Workers Deployed BARON: -3.1% ▼ Injunction Overruled by Cayman Court AMAZOFF: -12.8% ▼ Liquidated in Year 4
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Corporate Dossier
Ultracapitalism / Company Archives Bankruptcy Filed
Baron, company founder
Founded by Baron

Ramen Ventures

7 Years in business
Filed September 27, 2026 at 13:08 UTC

Financial Summary

Final Valuation
$705
Final Liquid Funding
$1,378
Fiscal Review Record
4 Wins / 3 Setbacks

Asset Portfolio

▲ 20 ▼ 20
Loan Shark

Loan Shark

BASIC
SMALL ANIMAL SERVICE
5.0
SEC
▸ Profit 20.
▸ Inflict 20 Loss.
▸ Gain 1 Debt.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Debt
Recurring Loss that ignores Moat and never goes away on its own.
◆ 13 Funding
Full Dossier →
▼ 160
Consultant
✦ MVP ✦

Consultant

PRO
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE SERVICE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 160 Loss.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
◆ 60 Funding
Full Dossier →
▼ 40
Freelancer
Disruptive
Disruptive

Freelancer

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN
6.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
▸ Scale +1 while adjacent to an Employee.
Buzzword
Disruptive
Disruptive
▸ Also apply 2 Scandal.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Scandal
Fast recurring Loss that ignores Moat — but it blows over.
Scale
The asset's effects trigger additional times each time it acts.
◆ 24 Funding
Full Dossier →
▼ 15 ◈ 5
Middle Manager

Middle Manager

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
6.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 15 Loss.
▸ When you use an adjacent Employee, inflict 10 Loss and gain 5 Moat.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
◆ 11 Funding
Full Dossier →
▲ 20
Quarterly Goals

Quarterly Goals

BASIC
MEDIUM SCHEME
5.0
SEC
▸ Overwork your Employees 1s.
▸ Profit 20.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Overwork
The asset works twice as fast while Overworked.
◆ 12 Funding
Full Dossier →
#6
Union Buster

Union Buster

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN SCHEME
5.0
SEC
▸ Slow a rival Employee 1.5s.
Keywords
Slow
The asset works at half speed while Slowed.
◆ 2 Funding
Full Dossier →
▲ 30
Scrum Master
Disruptive
Disruptive

Scrum Master

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
9.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track adjacent Employees 1.5s.
▸ Profit 30.
▸ Scale +1 while adjacent to an Employee.
Buzzword
Disruptive
Disruptive
▸ Also apply 2 Scandal.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Scandal
Fast recurring Loss that ignores Moat — but it blows over.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Scale
The asset's effects trigger additional times each time it acts.
◆ 24 Funding
Full Dossier →
▼ 28 ▲ 20
Pitchman

Pitchman

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE SERVICE
6.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 28 Loss.
▸ Profit 20.
▸ Windfall 20%.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Windfall
Chance for an asset to inflict double Loss, Profit, Revenue, Moat, Debt, and Scandal when it acts.
◆ 18 Funding
Full Dossier →
▲ 60
Salesperson

Salesperson

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 60.
▸ While in play: +25 Funding income per Year.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
◆ 28 Funding
Full Dossier →

Corporate Policies

Regulatory Capture
PLUS
◆
#1

Regulatory Capture

POLICY PLUS
▸ When you apply Scandal, gain 12 Moat.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Scandal
Fast recurring Loss that ignores Moat — but it blows over.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 150 Funding
Open Door Policy
◆
#2

Open Door Policy

POLICY
▸ When one of your Employees is Slowed, Fast Track it 1.5s.
Keywords
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Slow
The asset works at half speed while Slowed.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 90 Funding
Work/Life Balance
PLUS
◆
#3

Work/Life Balance

POLICY PLUS
▸ When one of your Employees activates, Profit 100.
▸ Your Employees act 0.2s slower.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 430 Funding
Aggressive Expansion
◆
#4

Aggressive Expansion

POLICY
▸ Permanently gain +50 Valuation.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 30 Funding
Lean Operations
◆
#5

Lean Operations

POLICY
▸ Your assets act 0.1s faster.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 50 Funding
Recurring Revenue
PLUS
◆
#6

Recurring Revenue

POLICY PLUS
▸ Permanently gain +2 Revenue.
Keywords
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 220 Funding
Old Money Rules
◆
#7

Old Money Rules

POLICY
▸ Start each battle with 100 Moat.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 180 Funding
Austerity Measures
◆
#8

Austerity Measures

POLICY
▸ Start each battle with 100 Moat.
▸ Your assets Profit 5 less.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 37 Funding

Fiscal Growth Timeline

INSOLVENCY FILED
Cumulative Wins
Cumulative Losses
Bankruptcy Limit (3)
Conceded 3 fatal setbacks by Fiscal Year 7, triggering mandatory corporate bankruptcy.
FINAL OUTCOME • FISCAL YEAR 7 • $705 VALUATION • 4 Wins / 3 Setbacks
0 Baseline 2 ▲ 3 BANKRUPTCY 4 6 ★ 8 DOMINATION Yr 1 $180 Fiscal Year 1: 1 Wins, 0 Setbacks, $180 Valuation Yr 2 $230 Fiscal Year 2: 1 Wins, 1 Setbacks, $230 Valuation Yr 3 $290 Fiscal Year 3: 2 Wins, 1 Setbacks, $290 Valuation Yr 4 $355 Fiscal Year 4: 2 Wins, 2 Setbacks, $355 Valuation Yr 5 $450 Fiscal Year 5: 3 Wins, 2 Setbacks, $450 Valuation Yr 6 $600 Fiscal Year 6: 4 Wins, 2 Setbacks, $600 Valuation Yr 7 $705 Fiscal Year 7: 4 Wins, 3 Setbacks, $705 Valuation
Audit Raw Fiscal Records (Tabular Breakdown)
Fiscal Year Closing Valuation Cumulative Wins Cumulative Setbacks Status
Year 1 $180 1 0 Stable
Year 2 $230 1 1 Setback
Year 3 $290 2 1 Stable
Year 4 $355 2 2 1 Strike Left
Year 5 $450 3 2 1 Strike Left
Year 6 $600 4 2 1 Strike Left
Year 7 $705 4 3 Bankrupt

Quarterly Shareholder Report →

Ongoing Boardroom Performance

At each year-end, an audit snapshot of Ramen Ventures is filed to challenge rival corporate executives during their End-of-Year Showdowns.

Showdown Record
0W / 0L
0 battles logged to date
Board Win Rate
—
Awaiting first showdown
Active Board Snapshots
0 Filings
Archived record

Exhibit / Corporate Fingerprint

Company DNA

Composition of the final board

5 types
One corporate identity
  • Human ×7
    Human / 7 assets
    • Consultant
    • Freelancer
    • Middle Manager
    • Union Buster
    • Scrum Master
    • Pitchman
    • Salesperson
  • Employee ×5
    Employee / 5 assets
    • Consultant
    • Middle Manager
    • Scrum Master
    • Pitchman
    • Salesperson
  • Service ×3
    Service / 3 assets
    • Loan Shark
    • Consultant
    • Pitchman
  • Scheme ×2
    Scheme / 2 assets
    • Quarterly Goals
    • Union Buster
  • Animal ×1
    Animal / 1 asset
    • Loan Shark
Larger type · Greater presenceInspect a type to reveal its assets ↗