MARKET: +14.2% ▲ ALL-TIME HIGH MOM & POP: MOAT AT ATH ($840 Moat Absorbing) SCRAPPY: +38.5% ▲ 42x Unpaid Interns Leveraged SERGEI: +21.0% ▲ 10,000 Bot Workers Deployed BARON: -3.1% ▼ Injunction Overruled by Cayman Court AMAZOFF: -12.8% ▼ Liquidated in Year 4 SEC STATUS: 0 SUBPOENAS FILED (COMPLIANCE WAIVED) CRASH WARNING: T-30s TICK COMMENCING MARKET: +14.2% ▲ ALL-TIME HIGH MOM & POP: MOAT AT ATH ($840 Moat Absorbing) SCRAPPY: +38.5% ▲ 42x Unpaid Interns Leveraged SERGEI: +21.0% ▲ 10,000 Bot Workers Deployed BARON: -3.1% ▼ Injunction Overruled by Cayman Court AMAZOFF: -12.8% ▼ Liquidated in Year 4
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Corporate Dossier
Ultracapitalism / Company Archives Bankruptcy Filed
Sergei, company founder
Founded by Sergei

Pre-Seed Panic

3 Years in business
Filed October 01, 2026 at 12:04 UTC

Financial Summary

Final Valuation
$220
Final Liquid Funding
$53
Fiscal Review Record
0 Wins / 3 Setbacks

Asset Portfolio

▼ 24 ⇈ 2
Robot Worker
Blockchain-Enabled
✦ MVP ✦
Blockchain-Enabled

Robot Worker

PLUS
SMALL MACHINE EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 24 Loss.
▸ Gain 2 Revenue.
Buzzword
Blockchain-Enabled
Blockchain-Enabled
▸ Also gain 1 Revenue.
Keywords
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
◆ 16 Funding
Full Dossier →
▼ 40 ▲ 10
Code Monkey
Lean
Lean

Code Monkey

PLUS
SMALL ANIMAL EMPLOYEE
6.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
▸ Profit 10.
▸ Scale +1 while adjacent to a Machine.
Buzzword
Lean
Lean
▸ 0.5s faster.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Scale
The asset's effects trigger additional times each time it acts.
◆ 26 Funding
Full Dossier →
▼ 40
Consultant

Consultant

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE SERVICE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
◆ 15 Funding
Full Dossier →
▲ 60
Unpaid Intern

Unpaid Intern

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 60.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
◆ 14 Funding
Full Dossier →
⇈ 1 ▲ 10
Cubicle Farm

Cubicle Farm

BASIC
MEDIUM PROPERTY
8.0
SEC
▸ Gain 1 Revenue.
▸ When one of your Employees activates, Profit 10.
Keywords
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
◆ 5 Funding
Full Dossier →
▲ 50 ▼ 50
Temp Worker

Temp Worker

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 50.
▸ Inflict 50 Loss.
▸ Liquidate this.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Liquidate
Removed for the rest of the battle.
◆ 15 Funding
Full Dossier →
▼ 10
Project Manager

Project Manager

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
8.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 10 Loss.
▸ Fast Track an adjacent Employee 1s.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 3 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈ #8
◈ #9

Corporate Policies

Lean Operations
◆
#1

Lean Operations

POLICY
▸ Your assets act 0.1s faster.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 50 Funding
Quality Assurance
◆
#2

Quality Assurance

POLICY
▸ When one of your assets is Liquidated, gain 100 Moat.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Liquidate
Removed for the rest of the battle.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 90 Funding
POLICY SLOT
#3
POLICY SLOT
#4
POLICY SLOT
#5
POLICY SLOT
#6
POLICY SLOT
#7
POLICY SLOT
#8

Fiscal Growth Timeline

INSOLVENCY FILED
Cumulative Wins
Cumulative Losses
Bankruptcy Limit (3)
Conceded 3 fatal setbacks by Fiscal Year 3, triggering mandatory corporate bankruptcy.
FINAL OUTCOME • FISCAL YEAR 3 • $220 VALUATION • 0 Wins / 3 Setbacks
0 Baseline 2 ▲ 3 BANKRUPTCY 4 6 ★ 8 DOMINATION Yr 1 $110 Fiscal Year 1: 0 Wins, 1 Setbacks, $110 Valuation Yr 2 $160 Fiscal Year 2: 0 Wins, 2 Setbacks, $160 Valuation Yr 3 $220 Fiscal Year 3: 0 Wins, 3 Setbacks, $220 Valuation
Audit Raw Fiscal Records (Tabular Breakdown)
Fiscal Year Closing Valuation Cumulative Wins Cumulative Setbacks Status
Year 1 $110 0 1 Setback
Year 2 $160 0 2 1 Strike Left
Year 3 $220 0 3 Bankrupt

Quarterly Shareholder Report →

Ongoing Boardroom Performance

At each year-end, an audit snapshot of Pre-Seed Panic is filed to challenge rival corporate executives during their End-of-Year Showdowns.

Showdown Record
0W / 0L
0 battles logged to date
Board Win Rate
—
Awaiting first showdown
Active Board Snapshots
3 Filings
Years 1 through 3

Annual Boardroom Snapshots

Historical portfolio audits captured at the conclusion of each fiscal year.

3 Years Archived
YEAR 1 $110 0W - 0S
Assets
Robot Worker
⚡
Blockchain-Enabled

Robot Worker

BASIC
SMALL MACHINE EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 12 Loss.
▸ Gain 1 Revenue.
Buzzword
Blockchain-Enabled
Blockchain-Enabled
▸ Also gain 1 Revenue.
Keywords
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
◆ 8 Funding
Full Dossier →
Code Monkey

Code Monkey

BASIC
SMALL ANIMAL EMPLOYEE
6.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 20 Loss.
▸ Profit 5.
▸ Scale +1 while adjacent to a Machine.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Scale
The asset's effects trigger additional times each time it acts.
◆ 13 Funding
Full Dossier →
Busy Receptionist

Busy Receptionist

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
4.0
SEC
▸ Gain 15 Moat.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
◆ 13 Funding
Full Dossier →
Unpaid Intern
+

Unpaid Intern

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 60.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
◆ 14 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈
◈
◈
◈
◈
◈
YEAR 2 $160 0W - 1S
Assets
Robot Worker
⚡
Blockchain-Enabled

Robot Worker

BASIC
SMALL MACHINE EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 12 Loss.
▸ Gain 1 Revenue.
Buzzword
Blockchain-Enabled
Blockchain-Enabled
▸ Also gain 1 Revenue.
Keywords
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
◆ 8 Funding
Full Dossier →
Code Monkey
⚡
Lean

Code Monkey

BASIC
SMALL ANIMAL EMPLOYEE
6.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 20 Loss.
▸ Profit 5.
▸ Scale +1 while adjacent to a Machine.
Buzzword
Lean
Lean
▸ 0.5s faster.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Scale
The asset's effects trigger additional times each time it acts.
◆ 13 Funding
Full Dossier →
Busy Receptionist

Busy Receptionist

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
4.0
SEC
▸ Gain 15 Moat.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
◆ 13 Funding
Full Dossier →
Unpaid Intern
+

Unpaid Intern

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 60.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
◆ 14 Funding
Full Dossier →
Cubicle Farm

Cubicle Farm

BASIC
MEDIUM PROPERTY
8.0
SEC
▸ Gain 1 Revenue.
▸ When one of your Employees activates, Profit 10.
Keywords
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
◆ 5 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈
◈
◈
◈
Policies
Lean Operations

Lean Operations

POLICY
▸ Your assets act 0.1s faster.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 50 Funding
YEAR 3 $220 0W - 2S
Assets
Robot Worker
+
⚡
Blockchain-Enabled

Robot Worker

PLUS
SMALL MACHINE EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 24 Loss.
▸ Gain 2 Revenue.
Buzzword
Blockchain-Enabled
Blockchain-Enabled
▸ Also gain 1 Revenue.
Keywords
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
◆ 16 Funding
Full Dossier →
Code Monkey
+
⚡
Lean

Code Monkey

PLUS
SMALL ANIMAL EMPLOYEE
6.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
▸ Profit 10.
▸ Scale +1 while adjacent to a Machine.
Buzzword
Lean
Lean
▸ 0.5s faster.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Scale
The asset's effects trigger additional times each time it acts.
◆ 26 Funding
Full Dossier →
Consultant

Consultant

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE SERVICE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
◆ 15 Funding
Full Dossier →
Unpaid Intern
+

Unpaid Intern

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 60.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
◆ 14 Funding
Full Dossier →
Cubicle Farm

Cubicle Farm

BASIC
MEDIUM PROPERTY
8.0
SEC
▸ Gain 1 Revenue.
▸ When one of your Employees activates, Profit 10.
Keywords
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
◆ 5 Funding
Full Dossier →
Temp Worker

Temp Worker

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 50.
▸ Inflict 50 Loss.
▸ Liquidate this.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Liquidate
Removed for the rest of the battle.
◆ 15 Funding
Full Dossier →
Project Manager

Project Manager

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
8.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 10 Loss.
▸ Fast Track an adjacent Employee 1s.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 3 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈
◈
Policies
Lean Operations

Lean Operations

POLICY
▸ Your assets act 0.1s faster.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 50 Funding
Quality Assurance

Quality Assurance

POLICY
▸ When one of your assets is Liquidated, gain 100 Moat.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Liquidate
Removed for the rest of the battle.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 90 Funding

Exhibit / Corporate Fingerprint

Company DNA

Composition of the final board

6 types
One corporate identity
  • Employee ×6
    Employee / 6 assets
    • Robot Worker
    • Code Monkey
    • Consultant
    • Unpaid Intern
    • Temp Worker
    • Project Manager
  • Human ×4
    Human / 4 assets
    • Consultant
    • Unpaid Intern
    • Temp Worker
    • Project Manager
  • Animal ×1
    Animal / 1 asset
    • Code Monkey
  • Machine ×1
    Machine / 1 asset
    • Robot Worker
  • Property ×1
    Property / 1 asset
    • Cubicle Farm
  • Service ×1
    Service / 1 asset
    • Consultant
Larger type · Greater presenceInspect a type to reveal its assets ↗