MARKET: +14.2% ▲ ALL-TIME HIGH MOM & POP: MOAT AT ATH ($840 Moat Absorbing) SCRAPPY: +38.5% ▲ 42x Unpaid Interns Leveraged SERGEI: +21.0% ▲ 10,000 Bot Workers Deployed BARON: -3.1% ▼ Injunction Overruled by Cayman Court AMAZOFF: -12.8% ▼ Liquidated in Year 4 SEC STATUS: 0 SUBPOENAS FILED (COMPLIANCE WAIVED) CRASH WARNING: T-30s TICK COMMENCING MARKET: +14.2% ▲ ALL-TIME HIGH MOM & POP: MOAT AT ATH ($840 Moat Absorbing) SCRAPPY: +38.5% ▲ 42x Unpaid Interns Leveraged SERGEI: +21.0% ▲ 10,000 Bot Workers Deployed BARON: -3.1% ▼ Injunction Overruled by Cayman Court AMAZOFF: -12.8% ▼ Liquidated in Year 4
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Corporate Dossier
Ultracapitalism / Company Archives Bankruptcy Filed
Baron, company founder
Founded by Baron

Cold Outreach Capital

3 Years in business
Filed September 10, 2026 at 17:57 UTC

Financial Summary

Final Valuation
$290
Final Liquid Funding
$135
Fiscal Review Record
0 Wins / 3 Setbacks

Asset Portfolio

▼ 40
Consultant

Consultant

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE SERVICE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
◆ 15 Funding
Full Dossier →
▼ 40
Freelancer

Freelancer

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN
6.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
▸ Scale +1 while adjacent to an Employee.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Scale
The asset's effects trigger additional times each time it acts.
◆ 24 Funding
Full Dossier →
▼ 20 ▲ 20
Hard Worker

Hard Worker

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 20 Loss.
▸ Profit 20.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
◆ 14 Funding
Full Dossier →
▲ 120
Unpaid Intern
✦ MVP ✦

Unpaid Intern

PRO
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 120.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
◆ 28 Funding
Full Dossier →
▲ 10
Nepo Baby

Nepo Baby

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN
3.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track an adjacent Human 0.1s.
▸ Profit 10.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 6 Funding
Full Dossier →
#5
Paid Reporter

Paid Reporter

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN SERVICE
7.0
SEC
▸ Apply 7 Scandal.
Keywords
Scandal
Fast recurring Loss that ignores Moat — but it blows over.
◆ 35 Funding
Full Dossier →
▲ 15
Scrum Master

Scrum Master

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
9.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track adjacent Employees 1s.
▸ Profit 15.
▸ Scale +1 while adjacent to an Employee.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Scale
The asset's effects trigger additional times each time it acts.
◆ 12 Funding
Full Dossier →
▼ 15
Sales Training

Sales Training

BASIC
SMALL BENEFIT
8.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 15 Loss.
▸ At the start of each battle, a random Employee of yours permanently gains +3 Loss.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
◆ 10 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈ #8
◈ #9

Corporate Policies

Recurring Revenue
◆
#1

Recurring Revenue

POLICY
▸ Permanently gain +1 Revenue.
Keywords
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 110 Funding
Lean Operations
◆
#2

Lean Operations

POLICY
▸ Your assets act 0.1s faster.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 50 Funding
POLICY SLOT
#3
POLICY SLOT
#4
POLICY SLOT
#5
POLICY SLOT
#6
POLICY SLOT
#7
POLICY SLOT
#8

Fiscal Growth Timeline

INSOLVENCY FILED
Cumulative Wins
Cumulative Losses
Bankruptcy Limit (3)
Conceded 3 fatal setbacks by Fiscal Year 3, triggering mandatory corporate bankruptcy.
FINAL OUTCOME • FISCAL YEAR 3 • $290 VALUATION • 0 Wins / 3 Setbacks
0 Baseline 2 ▲ 3 BANKRUPTCY 4 6 ★ 8 DOMINATION Yr 1 $170 Fiscal Year 1: 0 Wins, 1 Setbacks, $170 Valuation Yr 2 $230 Fiscal Year 2: 0 Wins, 2 Setbacks, $230 Valuation Yr 3 $290 Fiscal Year 3: 0 Wins, 3 Setbacks, $290 Valuation
Audit Raw Fiscal Records (Tabular Breakdown)
Fiscal Year Closing Valuation Cumulative Wins Cumulative Setbacks Status
Year 1 $170 0 1 Setback
Year 2 $230 0 2 1 Strike Left
Year 3 $290 0 3 Bankrupt

Quarterly Shareholder Report →

Ongoing Boardroom Performance

At each year-end, an audit snapshot of Cold Outreach Capital is filed to challenge rival corporate executives during their End-of-Year Showdowns.

Showdown Record
2W / 1L
3 battles fought as rival board
Board Win Rate
66.7%
2 rivals repelled
Active Board Snapshots
3 Filings
Years 1 through 3

Annual Boardroom Snapshots

Historical portfolio audits captured at the conclusion of each fiscal year.

3 Years Archived
YEAR 1 $170 0W - 0S
Assets
Consultant

Consultant

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE SERVICE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
◆ 15 Funding
Full Dossier →
Freelancer

Freelancer

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN
6.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 20 Loss.
▸ Scale +1 while adjacent to an Employee.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Scale
The asset's effects trigger additional times each time it acts.
◆ 12 Funding
Full Dossier →
Unpaid Intern

Unpaid Intern

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 30.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
◆ 7 Funding
Full Dossier →
Loan Shark

Loan Shark

BASIC
SMALL ANIMAL SERVICE
5.0
SEC
▸ Profit 20.
▸ Inflict 20 Loss.
▸ Gain 1 Debt.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Debt
Recurring Loss that ignores Moat and never goes away on its own.
◆ 13 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈
◈
◈
◈
◈
◈
YEAR 2 $230 0W - 1S
Assets
Consultant

Consultant

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE SERVICE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
◆ 15 Funding
Full Dossier →
Freelancer

Freelancer

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN
6.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 20 Loss.
▸ Scale +1 while adjacent to an Employee.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Scale
The asset's effects trigger additional times each time it acts.
◆ 12 Funding
Full Dossier →
Hard Worker
+

Hard Worker

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 20 Loss.
▸ Profit 20.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
◆ 14 Funding
Full Dossier →
Cubicle Farm

Cubicle Farm

BASIC
MEDIUM PROPERTY
8.0
SEC
▸ Gain 1 Revenue.
▸ When one of your Employees activates, Profit 10.
Keywords
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
◆ 5 Funding
Full Dossier →
Unpaid Intern
+

Unpaid Intern

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 60.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
◆ 14 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈
◈
◈
◈
Policies
Recurring Revenue

Recurring Revenue

POLICY
▸ Permanently gain +1 Revenue.
Keywords
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 110 Funding
YEAR 3 $290 0W - 2S
Assets
Consultant

Consultant

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE SERVICE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
◆ 15 Funding
Full Dossier →
Freelancer
+

Freelancer

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN
6.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
▸ Scale +1 while adjacent to an Employee.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Scale
The asset's effects trigger additional times each time it acts.
◆ 24 Funding
Full Dossier →
Hard Worker
+

Hard Worker

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 20 Loss.
▸ Profit 20.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Permanent Modifications
Permanent fiscal enhancements active on this asset.
◆ 14 Funding
Full Dossier →
Unpaid Intern
++

Unpaid Intern

PRO
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 120.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
◆ 28 Funding
Full Dossier →
Nepo Baby

Nepo Baby

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN
3.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track an adjacent Human 0.1s.
▸ Profit 10.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 6 Funding
Full Dossier →
Paid Reporter
+

Paid Reporter

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN SERVICE
7.0
SEC
▸ Apply 7 Scandal.
Keywords
Scandal
Fast recurring Loss that ignores Moat — but it blows over.
◆ 35 Funding
Full Dossier →
Scrum Master

Scrum Master

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
9.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track adjacent Employees 1s.
▸ Profit 15.
▸ Scale +1 while adjacent to an Employee.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Scale
The asset's effects trigger additional times each time it acts.
◆ 12 Funding
Full Dossier →
Sales Training

Sales Training

BASIC
SMALL BENEFIT
8.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 15 Loss.
▸ At the start of each battle, a random Employee of yours permanently gains +3 Loss.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
◆ 10 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈
◈
Policies
Recurring Revenue

Recurring Revenue

POLICY
▸ Permanently gain +1 Revenue.
Keywords
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 110 Funding
Lean Operations

Lean Operations

POLICY
▸ Your assets act 0.1s faster.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 50 Funding

Exhibit / Corporate Fingerprint

Company DNA

Composition of the final board

4 types
One corporate identity
  • Human ×7
    Human / 7 assets
    • Consultant
    • Freelancer
    • Hard Worker
    • Unpaid Intern
    • Nepo Baby
    • Paid Reporter
    • Scrum Master
  • Employee ×4
    Employee / 4 assets
    • Consultant
    • Hard Worker
    • Unpaid Intern
    • Scrum Master
  • Service ×2
    Service / 2 assets
    • Consultant
    • Paid Reporter
  • Benefit ×1
    Benefit / 1 asset
    • Sales Training
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