MARKET: +14.2% ▲ ALL-TIME HIGH MOM & POP: MOAT AT ATH ($840 Moat Absorbing) SCRAPPY: +38.5% ▲ 42x Unpaid Interns Leveraged SERGEI: +21.0% ▲ 10,000 Bot Workers Deployed BARON: -3.1% ▼ Injunction Overruled by Cayman Court AMAZOFF: -12.8% ▼ Liquidated in Year 4 SEC STATUS: 0 SUBPOENAS FILED (COMPLIANCE WAIVED) CRASH WARNING: T-30s TICK COMMENCING MARKET: +14.2% ▲ ALL-TIME HIGH MOM & POP: MOAT AT ATH ($840 Moat Absorbing) SCRAPPY: +38.5% ▲ 42x Unpaid Interns Leveraged SERGEI: +21.0% ▲ 10,000 Bot Workers Deployed BARON: -3.1% ▼ Injunction Overruled by Cayman Court AMAZOFF: -12.8% ▼ Liquidated in Year 4
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Baron

QUARTERLY SHAREHOLDER REPORT · 2026-Q4

Couch Surf Holdings

Baron, Old Money · Final year 7 · Bankruptcy

Bankrupt · History retained

ALL ANNUAL BOARDS THIS QUARTER0W / 0L
DOMINANCE—
YEAR 7 PLACEMENT—

Final board

▼ 1
Earnings Call

Earnings Call

BASIC
LARGE SCHEME
12.0
SEC
▸ Inflict Loss equal to 1x the Funding you have earned this run.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
▲ 60
Oil Well
Agile
✦ MVP ✦
Agile

Oil Well

PLUS
LARGE PROPERTY
4.0
SEC
▸ Permanently gain +80 Valuation.
▸ Profit 60.
Agile
Agile
▸ 10% faster.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
▼ 30
Loyalty Program

Loyalty Program

BASIC
SMALL SCHEME
9.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 30 Loss.
▸ At the start of the battle, gain 80% Market Share.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Market Share
A percentage of Loss dealt to rival Cash returns as Profit.
▲ 30
Insider Trading

Insider Trading

BASIC
LARGE SCHEME
8.0
SEC
▸ Profit 30.
▸ When a rival asset Profits, Profit 45 and apply 2 Scandal to both companies.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Scandal
Fast recurring Loss that ignores Moat — but it blows over.

Enacted corporate policies

Work/Life Balance
PLUS
◆
#1
POLICY PLUS
▸ When one of your Employees activates, Profit 100.
▸ Your Employees act 0.2s slower.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Old Money Rules
◆
#2
▸ Start each battle with 100 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Lean Operations
PLUS
◆
#3
POLICY PLUS
▸ Your assets act 0.2s faster.
Open Door Policy
◆
#4
▸ When one of your Employees is Slowed, Fast Track it 1.5s.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Slow
The asset works at half speed while Slowed.
Aggressive Pricing
PLUS
◆
#5
POLICY PLUS
▸ Market Share 4%: a percentage of Loss dealt to rival Cash returns as Profit.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Market Share
A percentage of Loss dealt to rival Cash returns as Profit.
Regulatory Capture
◆
#6
▸ When you apply Scandal, gain 6 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Scandal
Fast recurring Loss that ignores Moat — but it blows over.
Fortified
PLUS
◆
#7
POLICY PLUS
▸ Your assets grant 12% more Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Recurring Revenue
◆
#8
▸ Permanently gain +1 Revenue.
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.

Recent player encounters

Awaiting the first tracked showdown this quarter.

Score breakdown

Starting run record: 4W / 3L. Eligible final-board results: 0. Distinct opponents: 0.

Excluded repeated encounters: 0. Rating uncertainty: Not enough evidence. Your run's record sets the starting rating, and battles against same-year boards update it.

Annual Boardroom Snapshots

Historical portfolio audits captured at the conclusion of each fiscal year.

7 Years Archived
YEAR 1 $160 0W - 0S
Assets
Freelancer
+

Freelancer

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN
6.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
▸ Scale +1 while adjacent to an Employee.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Scale
The asset's effects trigger additional times each time it acts.
Consultant

Consultant

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE SERVICE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Corporate Spy

Corporate Spy

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN SERVICE
6.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 25 Loss.
▸ Apply 3 Scandal.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Scandal
Fast recurring Loss that ignores Moat — but it blows over.
Shaved Yak

Shaved Yak

BASIC
SMALL ANIMAL
12.0
SEC
▸ Slow adjacent assets 2s.
▸ Profit 50.
▸ Permanently gain +10 Valuation.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Slow
The asset works at half speed while Slowed.
◈
◈
◈
◈
◈
◈
Policies
Work/Life Balance
▸ When one of your Employees activates, Profit 50.
▸ Your Employees act 0.1s slower.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
YEAR 2 $210 1W - 0S
Assets
Freelancer
+

Freelancer

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN
6.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
▸ Scale +1 while adjacent to an Employee.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Scale
The asset's effects trigger additional times each time it acts.
Consultant

Consultant

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE SERVICE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Corporate Spy

Corporate Spy

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN SERVICE
6.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 25 Loss.
▸ Apply 3 Scandal.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Scandal
Fast recurring Loss that ignores Moat — but it blows over.
Shaved Yak

Shaved Yak

BASIC
SMALL ANIMAL
12.0
SEC
▸ Slow adjacent assets 2s.
▸ Profit 50.
▸ Permanently gain +10 Valuation.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Slow
The asset works at half speed while Slowed.
Loyalty Program

Loyalty Program

BASIC
SMALL SCHEME
9.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 30 Loss.
▸ At the start of the battle, gain 80% Market Share.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Market Share
A percentage of Loss dealt to rival Cash returns as Profit.
Payday Loan

Payday Loan

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN SERVICE
5.0
SEC
▸ Profit 60.
▸ Gain 1 Debt.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Debt
Recurring Loss that ignores Moat and never goes away on its own.
◈
◈
◈
◈
Policies
Work/Life Balance
▸ When one of your Employees activates, Profit 50.
▸ Your Employees act 0.1s slower.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Old Money Rules
▸ Start each battle with 100 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
YEAR 3 $300 2W - 0S
Assets
Freelancer
+

Freelancer

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN
6.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
▸ Scale +1 while adjacent to an Employee.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Scale
The asset's effects trigger additional times each time it acts.
Consultant

Consultant

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE SERVICE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Payday Loan

Payday Loan

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN SERVICE
5.0
SEC
▸ Profit 60.
▸ Gain 1 Debt.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Debt
Recurring Loss that ignores Moat and never goes away on its own.
Old Money

Old Money

BASIC
MEDIUM PROPERTY
5.0
SEC
▸ Gain 5 Revenue.
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Oil Well

Oil Well

BASIC
LARGE PROPERTY
4.0
SEC
▸ Permanently gain +40 Valuation.
▸ Profit 30.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
◈
◈
Policies
Work/Life Balance
▸ When one of your Employees activates, Profit 50.
▸ Your Employees act 0.1s slower.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Old Money Rules
▸ Start each battle with 100 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Lean Operations
▸ Your assets act 0.1s faster.
Open Door Policy
▸ When one of your Employees is Slowed, Fast Track it 1.5s.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Slow
The asset works at half speed while Slowed.
YEAR 4 $1,165 2W - 1S
Assets
Busy Receptionist
+

Busy Receptionist

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
4.0
SEC
▸ Gain 30 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Propaganda

Propaganda

BASIC
MEDIUM SCHEME
5.0
SEC
▸ Apply 6 Scandal.
Scandal
Fast recurring Loss that ignores Moat — but it blows over.
Oil Well

Oil Well

BASIC
LARGE PROPERTY
4.0
SEC
▸ Permanently gain +40 Valuation.
▸ Profit 30.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Advisor

Advisor

BASIC
MEDIUM HUMAN EMPLOYEE
6.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track adjacent assets 2s.
▸ Profit 30.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Private Equity

Private Equity

BASIC
MEDIUM SCHEME
10.0
SEC
▸ Liquidate the asset to your right.
▸ Profit 90.
▸ Inflict 90 Loss.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Liquidate
Removed for the rest of the battle.
Policies
Work/Life Balance
▸ When one of your Employees activates, Profit 50.
▸ Your Employees act 0.1s slower.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Old Money Rules
▸ Start each battle with 100 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Lean Operations
▸ Your assets act 0.1s faster.
Open Door Policy
▸ When one of your Employees is Slowed, Fast Track it 1.5s.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Slow
The asset works at half speed while Slowed.
Aggressive Pricing
▸ Market Share 2%: a percentage of Loss dealt to rival Cash returns as Profit.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Market Share
A percentage of Loss dealt to rival Cash returns as Profit.
YEAR 5 $2,205 2W - 2S
Assets
Earnings Call

Earnings Call

BASIC
LARGE SCHEME
12.0
SEC
▸ Inflict Loss equal to 1x the Funding you have earned this run.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Oil Well
+
⚡
Agile

Oil Well

PLUS
LARGE PROPERTY
4.0
SEC
▸ Permanently gain +80 Valuation.
▸ Profit 60.
Agile
Agile
▸ 10% faster.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loyalty Program

Loyalty Program

BASIC
SMALL SCHEME
9.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 30 Loss.
▸ At the start of the battle, gain 80% Market Share.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Market Share
A percentage of Loss dealt to rival Cash returns as Profit.
Insider Trading

Insider Trading

BASIC
LARGE SCHEME
8.0
SEC
▸ Profit 30.
▸ When a rival asset Profits, Profit 45 and apply 2 Scandal to both companies.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Scandal
Fast recurring Loss that ignores Moat — but it blows over.
Policies
Work/Life Balance
▸ When one of your Employees activates, Profit 50.
▸ Your Employees act 0.1s slower.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Old Money Rules
▸ Start each battle with 100 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Lean Operations
▸ Your assets act 0.1s faster.
Open Door Policy
▸ When one of your Employees is Slowed, Fast Track it 1.5s.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Slow
The asset works at half speed while Slowed.
Aggressive Pricing
▸ Market Share 2%: a percentage of Loss dealt to rival Cash returns as Profit.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Market Share
A percentage of Loss dealt to rival Cash returns as Profit.
YEAR 6 $3,390 3W - 2S
Assets
Earnings Call

Earnings Call

BASIC
LARGE SCHEME
12.0
SEC
▸ Inflict Loss equal to 1x the Funding you have earned this run.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Oil Well
+
⚡
Agile

Oil Well

PLUS
LARGE PROPERTY
4.0
SEC
▸ Permanently gain +80 Valuation.
▸ Profit 60.
Agile
Agile
▸ 10% faster.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loyalty Program

Loyalty Program

BASIC
SMALL SCHEME
9.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 30 Loss.
▸ At the start of the battle, gain 80% Market Share.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Market Share
A percentage of Loss dealt to rival Cash returns as Profit.
Insider Trading

Insider Trading

BASIC
LARGE SCHEME
8.0
SEC
▸ Profit 30.
▸ When a rival asset Profits, Profit 45 and apply 2 Scandal to both companies.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Scandal
Fast recurring Loss that ignores Moat — but it blows over.
Policies
Work/Life Balance
▸ When one of your Employees activates, Profit 50.
▸ Your Employees act 0.1s slower.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Old Money Rules
▸ Start each battle with 100 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Lean Operations
▸ Your assets act 0.1s faster.
Open Door Policy
▸ When one of your Employees is Slowed, Fast Track it 1.5s.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Slow
The asset works at half speed while Slowed.
Aggressive Pricing
▸ Market Share 2%: a percentage of Loss dealt to rival Cash returns as Profit.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Market Share
A percentage of Loss dealt to rival Cash returns as Profit.
Regulatory Capture
▸ When you apply Scandal, gain 6 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Scandal
Fast recurring Loss that ignores Moat — but it blows over.
Fortified
POLICY
▸ Your assets grant 6% more Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
YEAR 7 $4,825 4W - 2S
Assets
Earnings Call

Earnings Call

BASIC
LARGE SCHEME
12.0
SEC
▸ Inflict Loss equal to 1x the Funding you have earned this run.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Oil Well
+
⚡
Agile

Oil Well

PLUS
LARGE PROPERTY
4.0
SEC
▸ Permanently gain +80 Valuation.
▸ Profit 60.
Agile
Agile
▸ 10% faster.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loyalty Program

Loyalty Program

BASIC
SMALL SCHEME
9.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 30 Loss.
▸ At the start of the battle, gain 80% Market Share.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Market Share
A percentage of Loss dealt to rival Cash returns as Profit.
Insider Trading

Insider Trading

BASIC
LARGE SCHEME
8.0
SEC
▸ Profit 30.
▸ When a rival asset Profits, Profit 45 and apply 2 Scandal to both companies.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Scandal
Fast recurring Loss that ignores Moat — but it blows over.
Policies
Work/Life Balance
+
POLICY PLUS
▸ When one of your Employees activates, Profit 100.
▸ Your Employees act 0.2s slower.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Old Money Rules
▸ Start each battle with 100 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Lean Operations
+
POLICY PLUS
▸ Your assets act 0.2s faster.
Open Door Policy
▸ When one of your Employees is Slowed, Fast Track it 1.5s.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Slow
The asset works at half speed while Slowed.
Aggressive Pricing
+
POLICY PLUS
▸ Market Share 4%: a percentage of Loss dealt to rival Cash returns as Profit.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Market Share
A percentage of Loss dealt to rival Cash returns as Profit.
Regulatory Capture
▸ When you apply Scandal, gain 6 Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Scandal
Fast recurring Loss that ignores Moat — but it blows over.
Fortified
+
POLICY PLUS
▸ Your assets grant 12% more Moat.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Recurring Revenue
▸ Permanently gain +1 Revenue.
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.