MARKET: +14.2% ▲ ALL-TIME HIGH MOM & POP: MOAT AT ATH ($840 Moat Absorbing) SCRAPPY: +38.5% ▲ 42x Unpaid Interns Leveraged SERGEI: +21.0% ▲ 10,000 Bot Workers Deployed BARON: -3.1% ▼ Injunction Overruled by Cayman Court AMAZOFF: -12.8% ▼ Liquidated in Year 4 SEC STATUS: 0 SUBPOENAS FILED (COMPLIANCE WAIVED) CRASH WARNING: T-30s TICK COMMENCING MARKET: +14.2% ▲ ALL-TIME HIGH MOM & POP: MOAT AT ATH ($840 Moat Absorbing) SCRAPPY: +38.5% ▲ 42x Unpaid Interns Leveraged SERGEI: +21.0% ▲ 10,000 Bot Workers Deployed BARON: -3.1% ▼ Injunction Overruled by Cayman Court AMAZOFF: -12.8% ▼ Liquidated in Year 4
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Sergei

QUARTERLY SHAREHOLDER REPORT · 2026-Q4

Absolute Asset Management

Sergei, Move Fast & Break Laws · Final year 5 · Bankruptcy

Bankrupt · History retained

ALL ANNUAL BOARDS THIS QUARTER0W / 0L
DOMINANCE—
YEAR 5 PLACEMENT—

Final board

#0
Rubber Duck

Rubber Duck

BASIC
SMALL ANIMAL SERVICE
4.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track an adjacent Employee 1.5s.
Keywords
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 3 Funding
Full Dossier →
▲ 60
Unpaid Intern
Synergized
Synergized

Unpaid Intern

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 60.
Buzzword
Synergized
Synergized
▸ +10 Profit.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
◆ 14 Funding
Full Dossier →
▼ 28 ▲ 20
Pitchman

Pitchman

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE SERVICE
6.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 28 Loss.
▸ Profit 20.
▸ Windfall 20%.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Windfall
Chance for an asset to inflict double Loss, Profit, Revenue, Moat, Debt, and Scandal when it acts.
◆ 18 Funding
Full Dossier →
▼ 120
Paper Tiger
◈ ◈ ◈

Paper Tiger

PRO
SMALL ANIMAL SCHEME
4.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 120 Loss.
▸ Stock 3.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Stock
Limited uses. At 0 Stock, the asset cannot act until Restocked.
◆ 8 Funding
Full Dossier →
▼ 60
Sketchy Contractor

Sketchy Contractor

PLUS
MEDIUM HUMAN SERVICE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 60 Loss.
▸ Windfall 50%.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Windfall
Chance for an asset to inflict double Loss, Profit, Revenue, Moat, Debt, and Scandal when it acts.
◆ 35 Funding
Full Dossier →
▼ 1
Earnings Call
Lean
✦ MVP ✦
Lean

Earnings Call

BASIC
LARGE SCHEME
12.0
SEC
▸ Inflict Loss equal to 1x the Funding you have earned this run.
Buzzword
Lean
Lean
▸ 0.5s faster.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
◆ 12 Funding
Full Dossier →
▼ 40 ▲ 10
Code Monkey

Code Monkey

PLUS
SMALL ANIMAL EMPLOYEE
6.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
▸ Profit 10.
▸ Scale +1 while adjacent to a Machine.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Scale
The asset's effects trigger additional times each time it acts.
◆ 26 Funding
Full Dossier →

Enacted corporate policies

Work/Life Balance
◆
#1

Work/Life Balance

POLICY
▸ When one of your Employees activates, Profit 50.
▸ Your Employees act 0.1s slower.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 215 Funding
Open Door Policy
◆
#2

Open Door Policy

POLICY
▸ When one of your Employees is Slowed, Fast Track it 1.5s.
Keywords
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Slow
The asset works at half speed while Slowed.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 90 Funding
Aggressive Pricing
◆
#3

Aggressive Pricing

POLICY
▸ Market Share 2%: a percentage of Loss dealt to rival Cash returns as Profit.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Market Share
A percentage of Loss dealt to rival Cash returns as Profit.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 60 Funding
Aggressive Expansion
◆
#4

Aggressive Expansion

POLICY
▸ Permanently gain +50 Valuation.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 30 Funding
Word of Mouth
◆
#5

Word of Mouth

POLICY
▸ When one of your Humans activates, Fast Track a random Human 0.35s.
Keywords
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 60 Funding
POLICY SLOT
#6
POLICY SLOT
#7
POLICY SLOT
#8

Recent player encounters

Awaiting the first tracked showdown this quarter.

Score breakdown

Starting run record: 2W / 3L. Eligible final-board results: 0. Distinct opponents: 0.

Excluded repeated encounters: 0. Rating uncertainty: Not enough evidence. Your run's record sets the starting rating, and battles against same-year boards update it.

Annual Boardroom Snapshots

Historical portfolio audits captured at the conclusion of each fiscal year.

5 Years Archived
YEAR 1 $110 0W - 0S
Assets
Robot Worker

Robot Worker

BASIC
SMALL MACHINE EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 12 Loss.
▸ Gain 1 Revenue.
Keywords
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
◆ 8 Funding
Full Dossier →
Paper Tiger
+

Paper Tiger

PLUS
SMALL ANIMAL SCHEME
4.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 80 Loss.
▸ Stock 2.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Stock
Limited uses. At 0 Stock, the asset cannot act until Restocked.
◆ 4 Funding
Full Dossier →
Code Monkey
+

Code Monkey

PLUS
SMALL ANIMAL EMPLOYEE
6.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
▸ Profit 10.
▸ Scale +1 while adjacent to a Machine.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Scale
The asset's effects trigger additional times each time it acts.
◆ 26 Funding
Full Dossier →
Rubber Duck

Rubber Duck

BASIC
SMALL ANIMAL SERVICE
4.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track an adjacent Employee 1.5s.
Keywords
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 3 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈
◈
◈
◈
◈
◈
Policies
Work/Life Balance

Work/Life Balance

POLICY
▸ When one of your Employees activates, Profit 50.
▸ Your Employees act 0.1s slower.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 215 Funding
YEAR 2 $160 1W - 0S
Assets
Robot Worker

Robot Worker

BASIC
SMALL MACHINE EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 12 Loss.
▸ Gain 1 Revenue.
Keywords
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
◆ 8 Funding
Full Dossier →
Paper Tiger
+

Paper Tiger

PLUS
SMALL ANIMAL SCHEME
4.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 80 Loss.
▸ Stock 2.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Stock
Limited uses. At 0 Stock, the asset cannot act until Restocked.
◆ 4 Funding
Full Dossier →
Code Monkey
+

Code Monkey

PLUS
SMALL ANIMAL EMPLOYEE
6.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
▸ Profit 10.
▸ Scale +1 while adjacent to a Machine.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Scale
The asset's effects trigger additional times each time it acts.
◆ 26 Funding
Full Dossier →
Sketchy Contractor

Sketchy Contractor

BASIC
MEDIUM HUMAN SERVICE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 30 Loss.
▸ Windfall 50%.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Windfall
Chance for an asset to inflict double Loss, Profit, Revenue, Moat, Debt, and Scandal when it acts.
◆ 17 Funding
Full Dossier →
Unpaid Intern
+

Unpaid Intern

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 60.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
◆ 14 Funding
Full Dossier →
Rubber Duck

Rubber Duck

BASIC
SMALL ANIMAL SERVICE
4.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track an adjacent Employee 1.5s.
Keywords
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 3 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈
◈
◈
Policies
Work/Life Balance

Work/Life Balance

POLICY
▸ When one of your Employees activates, Profit 50.
▸ Your Employees act 0.1s slower.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 215 Funding
Open Door Policy

Open Door Policy

POLICY
▸ When one of your Employees is Slowed, Fast Track it 1.5s.
Keywords
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Slow
The asset works at half speed while Slowed.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 90 Funding
YEAR 3 $220 1W - 1S
Assets
Late Fee

Late Fee

BASIC
SMALL SCHEME
4.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 10 Loss.
▸ Whenever you apply Debt to the rival, inflict 50 Loss.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Debt
Recurring Loss that ignores Moat and never goes away on its own.
◆ 9 Funding
Full Dossier →
Creative Accounting

Creative Accounting

BASIC
MEDIUM SCHEME
8.0
SEC
▸ Gain 10 Revenue.
▸ Gain 1 Debt.
Keywords
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Debt
Recurring Loss that ignores Moat and never goes away on its own.
◆ 17 Funding
Full Dossier →
Sketchy Contractor
+

Sketchy Contractor

PLUS
MEDIUM HUMAN SERVICE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 60 Loss.
▸ Windfall 50%.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Windfall
Chance for an asset to inflict double Loss, Profit, Revenue, Moat, Debt, and Scandal when it acts.
◆ 35 Funding
Full Dossier →
Unpaid Intern
+

Unpaid Intern

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 60.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
◆ 14 Funding
Full Dossier →
Rubber Duck

Rubber Duck

BASIC
SMALL ANIMAL SERVICE
4.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track an adjacent Employee 1.5s.
Keywords
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 3 Funding
Full Dossier →
Debt Spiral

Debt Spiral

BASIC
MEDIUM SCHEME
6.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 10 Loss, plus 800% of your own Debt.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Debt
Recurring Loss that ignores Moat and never goes away on its own.
◆ 15 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈
Policies
Work/Life Balance

Work/Life Balance

POLICY
▸ When one of your Employees activates, Profit 50.
▸ Your Employees act 0.1s slower.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 215 Funding
Open Door Policy

Open Door Policy

POLICY
▸ When one of your Employees is Slowed, Fast Track it 1.5s.
Keywords
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Slow
The asset works at half speed while Slowed.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 90 Funding
Aggressive Pricing

Aggressive Pricing

POLICY
▸ Market Share 2%: a percentage of Loss dealt to rival Cash returns as Profit.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Market Share
A percentage of Loss dealt to rival Cash returns as Profit.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 60 Funding
YEAR 4 $220 1W - 2S
Assets
Rubber Duck

Rubber Duck

BASIC
SMALL ANIMAL SERVICE
4.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track an adjacent Employee 1.5s.
Keywords
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 3 Funding
Full Dossier →
Unpaid Intern
+
⚡
Synergized

Unpaid Intern

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 60.
Buzzword
Synergized
Synergized
▸ +10 Profit.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
◆ 14 Funding
Full Dossier →
Pitchman
+

Pitchman

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE SERVICE
6.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 28 Loss.
▸ Profit 20.
▸ Windfall 20%.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Windfall
Chance for an asset to inflict double Loss, Profit, Revenue, Moat, Debt, and Scandal when it acts.
◆ 18 Funding
Full Dossier →
Paper Tiger
+

Paper Tiger

PLUS
SMALL ANIMAL SCHEME
4.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 80 Loss.
▸ Stock 2.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Stock
Limited uses. At 0 Stock, the asset cannot act until Restocked.
◆ 4 Funding
Full Dossier →
Sketchy Contractor
+

Sketchy Contractor

PLUS
MEDIUM HUMAN SERVICE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 60 Loss.
▸ Windfall 50%.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Windfall
Chance for an asset to inflict double Loss, Profit, Revenue, Moat, Debt, and Scandal when it acts.
◆ 35 Funding
Full Dossier →
Earnings Call
⚡
Lean

Earnings Call

BASIC
LARGE SCHEME
12.0
SEC
▸ Inflict Loss equal to 1x the Funding you have earned this run.
Buzzword
Lean
Lean
▸ 0.5s faster.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
◆ 12 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈
Policies
Work/Life Balance

Work/Life Balance

POLICY
▸ When one of your Employees activates, Profit 50.
▸ Your Employees act 0.1s slower.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 215 Funding
Open Door Policy

Open Door Policy

POLICY
▸ When one of your Employees is Slowed, Fast Track it 1.5s.
Keywords
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Slow
The asset works at half speed while Slowed.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 90 Funding
Aggressive Pricing

Aggressive Pricing

POLICY
▸ Market Share 2%: a percentage of Loss dealt to rival Cash returns as Profit.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Market Share
A percentage of Loss dealt to rival Cash returns as Profit.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 60 Funding
YEAR 5 $310 2W - 2S
Assets
Rubber Duck

Rubber Duck

BASIC
SMALL ANIMAL SERVICE
4.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track an adjacent Employee 1.5s.
Keywords
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 3 Funding
Full Dossier →
Unpaid Intern
+
⚡
Synergized

Unpaid Intern

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 60.
Buzzword
Synergized
Synergized
▸ +10 Profit.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
◆ 14 Funding
Full Dossier →
Pitchman
+

Pitchman

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE SERVICE
6.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 28 Loss.
▸ Profit 20.
▸ Windfall 20%.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Windfall
Chance for an asset to inflict double Loss, Profit, Revenue, Moat, Debt, and Scandal when it acts.
◆ 18 Funding
Full Dossier →
Paper Tiger
++

Paper Tiger

PRO
SMALL ANIMAL SCHEME
4.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 120 Loss.
▸ Stock 3.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Stock
Limited uses. At 0 Stock, the asset cannot act until Restocked.
◆ 8 Funding
Full Dossier →
Sketchy Contractor
+

Sketchy Contractor

PLUS
MEDIUM HUMAN SERVICE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 60 Loss.
▸ Windfall 50%.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Windfall
Chance for an asset to inflict double Loss, Profit, Revenue, Moat, Debt, and Scandal when it acts.
◆ 35 Funding
Full Dossier →
Earnings Call
⚡
Lean

Earnings Call

BASIC
LARGE SCHEME
12.0
SEC
▸ Inflict Loss equal to 1x the Funding you have earned this run.
Buzzword
Lean
Lean
▸ 0.5s faster.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
◆ 12 Funding
Full Dossier →
Code Monkey
+

Code Monkey

PLUS
SMALL ANIMAL EMPLOYEE
6.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
▸ Profit 10.
▸ Scale +1 while adjacent to a Machine.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Scale
The asset's effects trigger additional times each time it acts.
◆ 26 Funding
Full Dossier →
Policies
Work/Life Balance

Work/Life Balance

POLICY
▸ When one of your Employees activates, Profit 50.
▸ Your Employees act 0.1s slower.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 215 Funding
Open Door Policy

Open Door Policy

POLICY
▸ When one of your Employees is Slowed, Fast Track it 1.5s.
Keywords
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Slow
The asset works at half speed while Slowed.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 90 Funding
Aggressive Pricing

Aggressive Pricing

POLICY
▸ Market Share 2%: a percentage of Loss dealt to rival Cash returns as Profit.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Market Share
A percentage of Loss dealt to rival Cash returns as Profit.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 60 Funding
Aggressive Expansion

Aggressive Expansion

POLICY
▸ Permanently gain +50 Valuation.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 30 Funding
Word of Mouth

Word of Mouth

POLICY
▸ When one of your Humans activates, Fast Track a random Human 0.35s.
Keywords
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 60 Funding