MARKET: +14.2% ▲ ALL-TIME HIGH MOM & POP: MOAT AT ATH ($840 Moat Absorbing) SCRAPPY: +38.5% ▲ 42x Unpaid Interns Leveraged SERGEI: +21.0% ▲ 10,000 Bot Workers Deployed BARON: -3.1% ▼ Injunction Overruled by Cayman Court AMAZOFF: -12.8% ▼ Liquidated in Year 4 SEC STATUS: 0 SUBPOENAS FILED (COMPLIANCE WAIVED) CRASH WARNING: T-30s TICK COMMENCING MARKET: +14.2% ▲ ALL-TIME HIGH MOM & POP: MOAT AT ATH ($840 Moat Absorbing) SCRAPPY: +38.5% ▲ 42x Unpaid Interns Leveraged SERGEI: +21.0% ▲ 10,000 Bot Workers Deployed BARON: -3.1% ▼ Injunction Overruled by Cayman Court AMAZOFF: -12.8% ▼ Liquidated in Year 4
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◀ Boardroom Analytics / vendor.burn_unit
STATUS: LICENSED MERCHANT
UC
The Burn Unit
Asset Market 🏷️ +5% PREMIUM 📦 3 Stock Slots 🛒 1.31 Sales / Visit ALL FOUNDERS YEAR 3–8

The Burn Unit

“A clinic that never asks how it happened. Every chart on the wall is a bill for somebody else.”
Merchant Identifier: vendor.burn_unit

Buy Burnout assets

Commercial Terms & Encounter Mechanics

Statutory Market Invariants

Operating rules governing inventory allocation, pricing modifiers, and encounter routing:

SHELF CAPACITY 3 Offers / Roll
PRICING TERMS +5% Surcharge
ENCOUNTER WEIGHT Weight 75
Stocking Mechanism: Curated Asset Pool (21 Designated Cards)
Restock Rule: Static Shelf (Does not refill upon purchase; requires paid reroll)
Most Acquired At This Merchant
Rage Quit (5 sold) Union Rep (5 sold) Adrenaline Junkie (4 sold) Grindset (4 sold) Martyr Complex (4 sold)

Commerce Performance Telemetry

Version Current Filings
VISIT CONVERSION (PICK RATE)
36.3% (29 / 80 offers)

Rate at which executive founders prioritize visiting this merchant when offered.

SALES PER VISIT
1.31 cards / stop

Founders buy an average of 1.31 cards per stop (44% shelf clearance of 3 slots).

TOTAL SALES & REVENUE
38 items ($4,226 spend)

Gross inventory acquired across all runs (6 upgrades purchased).

Recent Merchant Sales

Executive Transaction Audit
Asset Sold Price Type Time
$47 NEW UNIT 7 days ago
$63 NEW UNIT 11 days ago
$12 NEW UNIT 11 days ago
$73 NEW UNIT 12 days ago
$73 NEW UNIT 12 days ago
$42 NEW UNIT 12 days ago
$73 NEW UNIT 14 days ago
$33 UPGRADE 14 days ago
$420 NEW UNIT 14 days ago
$57 NEW UNIT 14 days ago

Authorized Shelf Inventory & Options

All eligible corporate assets rolled on The Burn Unit's shelves. Sized according to 1-, 2-, and 3-width board footprints.

▫ 14 Small (1-Slot) ▫▫ 4 Medium (2-Slot) ▫▫▫ 3 Large (3-Slot)
Size:
Sort: Pick Rate Win Rate Sales Price Size Name
Filter Tag:
3-SLOT
Sudden Death Market

Sudden Death Market

BASIC
LARGE SCHEME
4.0
SEC
▸ Overwork all assets 1s.
▸ Whenever any asset stops being Burned Out, Liquidate it.
Keywords
Overwork
The asset works twice as fast while Overworked.
Burnout
An asset pushed past one act per second is Burned Out: more speed is lost — but some cards pay off when it happens.
Liquidate
Removed for the rest of the battle.
◆ 12 Funding
Full Dossier →

Sudden Death Market

Rare ▫▫▫ 3-Slot
$25 Funding List: $24
+5% PREMIUM

Overwork all assets 1s. Whenever any asset stops being Burned Out, Liquidate it.

Pick Rate 57.1% (4/7)
Win Rate 0.0% (0W/0L)
Merchant Volume: 2 acquisitions here
▼ 40
1-SLOT
Terrible Boss

Terrible Boss

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN
6.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
▸ Overwork your Burned Out Employees 1s.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Overwork
The asset works twice as fast while Overworked.
Burnout
An asset pushed past one act per second is Burned Out: more speed is lost — but some cards pay off when it happens.
◆ 15 Funding
Full Dossier →

Terrible Boss

Uncommon ▫ 1-Slot
$31 Funding List: $30
+5% PREMIUM

Inflict 40 Loss. Overwork your Burned Out Employees 1s.

Pick Rate 36.8% (7/19)
Win Rate 0.0% (0W/2L)
Merchant Volume: 2 acquisitions here
◈ 12 ▲ 20
1-SLOT
Nurse

Nurse

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
6.0
SEC
▸ Gain 12 Moat.
▸ Slow one of your Burned Out Humans 2s.
▸ Whenever one of your Humans recovers from Burnout, Profit 20.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Slow
The asset works at half speed while Slowed.
Burnout
An asset pushed past one act per second is Burned Out: more speed is lost — but some cards pay off when it happens.
◆ 8 Funding
Full Dossier →

Nurse

Common ▫ 1-Slot
$16 Funding
+5% PREMIUM

Gain 12 Moat. Slow one of your Burned Out Humans 2s. Whenever one of your Humans recovers from Burnout, Profit 20.

Pick Rate 33.3% (11/33)
Win Rate 33.3% (1W/2L)
Merchant Volume: 3 acquisitions here
▼ 60
1-SLOT
Poison Pill

Poison Pill

BASIC
SMALL SCHEME
5.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track the rival's fastest asset 3s.
▸ Whenever a rival asset Burns Out, inflict 60 Loss.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Burnout
An asset pushed past one act per second is Burned Out: more speed is lost — but some cards pay off when it happens.
◆ 1 Funding
Full Dossier →

Poison Pill

Uncommon ▫ 1-Slot
$2 Funding
+5% PREMIUM

Fast Track the rival's fastest asset 3s. Whenever a rival asset Burns Out, inflict 60 Loss.

Pick Rate 32.1% (9/28)
Win Rate 0.0% (0W/0L)
Merchant Volume: 0 acquisitions here
◈ 40
1-SLOT
Martyr Complex

Martyr Complex

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN
5.0
SEC
▸ Gain 40 Moat.
▸ When this Burns Out, gain 100 Moat.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Burnout
An asset pushed past one act per second is Burned Out: more speed is lost — but some cards pay off when it happens.
◆ 50 Funding
Full Dossier →

Martyr Complex

Common ▫ 1-Slot
$105 Funding List: $100
+5% PREMIUM

Gain 40 Moat. When this Burns Out, gain 100 Moat.

Pick Rate 31.3% (5/16)
Win Rate 50.0% (1W/1L)
Merchant Volume: 4 acquisitions here
▲ 20 ▼ 20
2-SLOT
Grindset

Grindset

BASIC
MEDIUM SCHEME
5.0
SEC
▸ Profit 20.
▸ Inflict 20 Loss.
▸ Whenever one of your assets Burns Out, inflict 10 Loss.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Burnout
An asset pushed past one act per second is Burned Out: more speed is lost — but some cards pay off when it happens.
◆ 15 Funding
Full Dossier →

Grindset

Uncommon ▫▫ 2-Slot
$31 Funding List: $30
+5% PREMIUM

Profit 20. Inflict 20 Loss. Whenever one of your assets Burns Out, inflict 10 Loss.

Pick Rate 30.8% (8/26)
Win Rate 0.0% (0W/1L)
Merchant Volume: 4 acquisitions here
▼ 60
1-SLOT
Rage Quit

Rage Quit

BASIC
SMALL SCHEME
6.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 60 Loss.
▸ When this Burns Out, Liquidate it and inflict 200 Loss.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Burnout
An asset pushed past one act per second is Burned Out: more speed is lost — but some cards pay off when it happens.
Liquidate
Removed for the rest of the battle.
◆ 35 Funding
Full Dossier →

Rage Quit

Uncommon ▫ 1-Slot
$73 Funding List: $70
+5% PREMIUM

Inflict 60 Loss. When this Burns Out, Liquidate it and inflict 200 Loss.

Pick Rate 30.0% (6/20)
Win Rate 0.0% (0W/1L)
Merchant Volume: 5 acquisitions here
◈ 30
1-SLOT
Union Rep

Union Rep

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN
6.0
SEC
▸ Gain 30 Moat.
▸ Whenever a rival asset Burns Out, Slow it 5s.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Slow
The asset works at half speed while Slowed.
Burnout
An asset pushed past one act per second is Burned Out: more speed is lost — but some cards pay off when it happens.
◆ 22 Funding
Full Dossier →

Union Rep

Uncommon ▫ 1-Slot
$47 Funding List: $45
+5% PREMIUM

Gain 30 Moat. Whenever a rival asset Burns Out, Slow it 5s.

Pick Rate 27.3% (9/33)
Win Rate 100.0% (1W/0L)
Merchant Volume: 5 acquisitions here
▼ 40
1-SLOT
Whistleblower

Whistleblower

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN
6.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
▸ Whenever a rival Employee Burns Out, Slow all rival Employees 1s.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Slow
The asset works at half speed while Slowed.
Burnout
An asset pushed past one act per second is Burned Out: more speed is lost — but some cards pay off when it happens.
◆ 15 Funding
Full Dossier →

Whistleblower

Uncommon ▫ 1-Slot
$31 Funding List: $30
+5% PREMIUM

Inflict 40 Loss. Whenever a rival Employee Burns Out, Slow all rival Employees 1s.

Pick Rate 25.6% (10/39)
Win Rate 33.3% (2W/4L)
Merchant Volume: 1 acquisition here
▼ 20
1-SLOT
Fire Marshal

Fire Marshal

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 20 Loss for every Burned Out asset on the field.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Burnout
An asset pushed past one act per second is Burned Out: more speed is lost — but some cards pay off when it happens.
◆ 30 Funding
Full Dossier →

Fire Marshal

Uncommon ▫ 1-Slot
$63 Funding List: $60
+5% PREMIUM

Inflict 20 Loss for every Burned Out asset on the field.

Pick Rate 22.2% (2/9)
Win Rate 50.0% (1W/1L)
Merchant Volume: 0 acquisitions here
▼ 20
1-SLOT
Adrenaline Junkie

Adrenaline Junkie

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN
4.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 20 Loss.
▸ Windfall 40% while Burned Out.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Windfall
Chance for an asset to inflict double Loss, Profit, Revenue, Moat, Debt, and Scandal when it acts.
Burnout
An asset pushed past one act per second is Burned Out: more speed is lost — but some cards pay off when it happens.
◆ 11 Funding
Full Dossier →

Adrenaline Junkie

Common ▫ 1-Slot
$23 Funding List: $22
+5% PREMIUM

Inflict 20 Loss. Windfall 40% while Burned Out.

Pick Rate 18.2% (8/44)
Win Rate 50.0% (1W/1L)
Merchant Volume: 4 acquisitions here
2-SLOT
Mental Health Day

Mental Health Day

BASIC
MEDIUM BENEFIT
12.0
SEC
▸ Slow your Humans 1s.
▸ Restock your assets 2.
▸ Whenever one of your assets Burns Out, Fast Track this 1s.
Keywords
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Slow
The asset works at half speed while Slowed.
Stock
Limited uses. At 0 Stock, the asset cannot act until Restocked.
Burnout
An asset pushed past one act per second is Burned Out: more speed is lost — but some cards pay off when it happens.
◆ 3 Funding
Full Dossier →

Mental Health Day

Uncommon ▫▫ 2-Slot
$6 Funding
+5% PREMIUM

Slow your Humans 1s. Restock your assets 2. Whenever one of your assets Burns Out, Fast Track this 1s.

Pick Rate 18.2% (6/33)
Win Rate 0.0% (0W/1L)
Merchant Volume: 2 acquisitions here
▲ 15 ▼ 15
3-SLOT
Against All Odds

Against All Odds

BASIC
LARGE SCHEME
7.0
SEC
▸ Overwork your Employees 2s.
▸ When you use an Employee, Profit 15 and inflict 15 Loss.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Overwork
The asset works twice as fast while Overworked.
◆ 15 Funding
Full Dossier →

Against All Odds

Rare ▫▫▫ 3-Slot
$31 Funding List: $30
+5% PREMIUM

Overwork your Employees 2s. When you use an Employee, Profit 15 and inflict 15 Loss.

Pick Rate 17.4% (4/23)
Win Rate 50.0% (1W/1L)
Merchant Volume: 0 acquisitions here
▼ 50
1-SLOT
Loose Cannon

Loose Cannon

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
6.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 50 Loss.
▸ Scale +2 while Burned Out.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Scale
The asset's effects trigger additional times each time it acts.
Burnout
An asset pushed past one act per second is Burned Out: more speed is lost — but some cards pay off when it happens.
◆ 27 Funding
Full Dossier →

Loose Cannon

Common ▫ 1-Slot
$57 Funding List: $55
+5% PREMIUM

Inflict 50 Loss. Scale +2 while Burned Out.

Pick Rate 16.3% (7/43)
Win Rate 37.5% (3W/5L)
Merchant Volume: 2 acquisitions here
▲ 40
1-SLOT
Free Dinner After Eight

Free Dinner After Eight

BASIC
SMALL BENEFIT
5.0
SEC
▸ Overwork the Employee to your right 1.5s.
▸ Whenever the Employee to the right Burns Out, Profit 40.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Overwork
The asset works twice as fast while Overworked.
Burnout
An asset pushed past one act per second is Burned Out: more speed is lost — but some cards pay off when it happens.
◆ 6 Funding
Full Dossier →

Free Dinner After Eight

Common ▫ 1-Slot
$12 Funding
+5% PREMIUM

Overwork the Employee to your right 1.5s. Whenever the Employee to the right Burns Out, Profit 40.

Pick Rate 16.1% (15/93)
Win Rate 46.7% (7W/8L)
Merchant Volume: 3 acquisitions here
◈ 100 ▲ 100
1-SLOT
Sabbatical

Sabbatical

BASIC
SMALL BENEFIT
8.0
SEC
▸ Gain 100 Moat.
▸ Whenever one of your Employees stops being Burned Out, Profit 100.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Burnout
An asset pushed past one act per second is Burned Out: more speed is lost — but some cards pay off when it happens.
◆ 47 Funding
Full Dossier →

Sabbatical

Uncommon ▫ 1-Slot
$99 Funding List: $95
+5% PREMIUM

Gain 100 Moat. Whenever one of your Employees stops being Burned Out, Profit 100.

Pick Rate 14.9% (7/47)
Win Rate 55.6% (5W/4L)
Merchant Volume: 2 acquisitions here
◈ 20
1-SLOT
Unlimited PTO

Unlimited PTO

BASIC
SMALL BENEFIT
8.0
SEC
▸ Gain 20 Moat.
▸ Your Employees act 10% faster.
▸ Whenever one of your Employees Burns Out, gain 50 Moat.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Burnout
An asset pushed past one act per second is Burned Out: more speed is lost — but some cards pay off when it happens.
◆ 20 Funding
Full Dossier →

Unlimited PTO

Uncommon ▫ 1-Slot
$42 Funding List: $40
+5% PREMIUM

Gain 20 Moat. Your Employees act 10% faster. Whenever one of your Employees Burns Out, gain 50 Moat.

Pick Rate 13.0% (3/23)
Win Rate 61.5% (8W/5L)
Merchant Volume: 2 acquisitions here
◈ 30 ▼ 30
2-SLOT
Overtime Pay

Overtime Pay

BASIC
MEDIUM BENEFIT
5.0
SEC
▸ Gain 30 Moat.
▸ Whenever one of your Employees Burns Out, inflict 30 Loss.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Burnout
An asset pushed past one act per second is Burned Out: more speed is lost — but some cards pay off when it happens.
◆ 25 Funding
Full Dossier →

Overtime Pay

Uncommon ▫▫ 2-Slot
$52 Funding List: $50
+5% PREMIUM

Gain 30 Moat. Whenever one of your Employees Burns Out, inflict 30 Loss.

Pick Rate 11.4% (5/44)
Win Rate 57.1% (4W/3L)
Merchant Volume: 1 acquisition here
▼ 25
1-SLOT
Employee of the Month

Employee of the Month

BASIC
SMALL BENEFIT
7.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 25 Loss for each of your Burned Out assets.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Burnout
An asset pushed past one act per second is Burned Out: more speed is lost — but some cards pay off when it happens.
◆ 12 Funding
Full Dossier →

Employee of the Month

Uncommon ▫ 1-Slot
$25 Funding List: $24
+5% PREMIUM

Inflict 25 Loss for each of your Burned Out assets.

Pick Rate 4.8% (1/21)
Win Rate 50.0% (2W/2L)
Merchant Volume: 0 acquisitions here
▲ 15
3-SLOT
Game Studio

Game Studio

BASIC
LARGE PROPERTY
9.0
SEC
▸ Overwork your Employees 2s.
▸ Whenever one of your Employees Burns Out, Profit 15.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Overwork
The asset works twice as fast while Overworked.
Burnout
An asset pushed past one act per second is Burned Out: more speed is lost — but some cards pay off when it happens.
◆ 6 Funding
Full Dossier →

Game Studio

Rare ▫▫▫ 3-Slot
$12 Funding
+5% PREMIUM

Overwork your Employees 2s. Whenever one of your Employees Burns Out, Profit 15.

Pick Rate 0.0% (0/5)
Win Rate 100.0% (1W/0L)
Merchant Volume: 0 acquisitions here
2-SLOT
Total Deregulation

Total Deregulation

BASIC
MEDIUM SCHEME
8.0
SEC
▸ Overwork every asset on both boards 2s.
▸ Both companies gain 3 Scandal.
Keywords
Scandal
Fast recurring Loss that ignores Moat — but it blows over.
Overwork
The asset works twice as fast while Overworked.
◆ 4 Funding
Full Dossier →

Total Deregulation

Uncommon ▫▫ 2-Slot
$8 Funding
+5% PREMIUM

Overwork every asset on both boards 2s. Both companies gain 3 Scandal.

Pick Rate 0.0% (0/2)
Win Rate 0.0% (0W/0L)
Merchant Volume: 0 acquisitions here