MARKET: +14.2% ▲ ALL-TIME HIGH MOM & POP: MOAT AT ATH ($840 Moat Absorbing) SCRAPPY: +38.5% ▲ 42x Unpaid Interns Leveraged SERGEI: +21.0% ▲ 10,000 Bot Workers Deployed BARON: -3.1% ▼ Injunction Overruled by Cayman Court AMAZOFF: -12.8% ▼ Liquidated in Year 4 SEC STATUS: 0 SUBPOENAS FILED (COMPLIANCE WAIVED) CRASH WARNING: T-30s TICK COMMENCING MARKET: +14.2% ▲ ALL-TIME HIGH MOM & POP: MOAT AT ATH ($840 Moat Absorbing) SCRAPPY: +38.5% ▲ 42x Unpaid Interns Leveraged SERGEI: +21.0% ▲ 10,000 Bot Workers Deployed BARON: -3.1% ▼ Injunction Overruled by Cayman Court AMAZOFF: -12.8% ▼ Liquidated in Year 4
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Baron

QUARTERLY SHAREHOLDER REPORT · 2026-Q4

Minimum Viable Corp

Baron, Old Money · Final year 8 · Bankruptcy

Bankrupt · History retained

ALL ANNUAL BOARDS THIS QUARTER0W / 0L
DOMINANCE—
YEAR 8 PLACEMENT—

Final board

▼ 40
Consultant

Consultant

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE SERVICE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 40 Loss.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
◆ 15 Funding
Full Dossier →
▲ 30
Open Office

Open Office

PLUS
MEDIUM PROPERTY
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 30.
▸ When you use an adjacent Human, Fast Track your adjacent Humans 1.5s and Profit 30.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 28 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈ 50 ▲ 70
Bankruptcy Lawyer

Bankruptcy Lawyer

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN SERVICE
7.0
SEC
▸ Gain 50 Moat.
▸ The first time your Cash falls below half: remove 100% of your Debt and Profit 70.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Debt
Recurring Loss that ignores Moat and never goes away on its own.
◆ 35 Funding
Full Dossier →
▲ 100 ◈ 40
Family Office
Blockchain-Enabled
✦ MVP ✦
Blockchain-Enabled

Family Office

PLUS
MEDIUM PROPERTY
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 100.
▸ When one of your Employees Profits, gain 40 Moat.
Buzzword
Blockchain-Enabled
Blockchain-Enabled
▸ Also gain 1 Revenue.
Keywords
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
◆ 50 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈ 40
Kombucha Tap
Gamified
Gamified

Kombucha Tap

BASIC
SMALL SERVICE MACHINE BENEFIT
6.0
SEC
▸ Gain 40 Moat.
▸ Gain 1 Scandal.
Buzzword
Gamified
Gamified
▸ +25% Windfall chance.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Scandal
Fast recurring Loss that ignores Moat — but it blows over.
Windfall
Chance for an asset to inflict double Loss, Profit, Revenue, Moat, Debt, and Scandal when it acts.
◆ 25 Funding
Full Dossier →
▼ 20 ◈ 20
Focus Group
Leveraged
Leveraged

Focus Group

BASIC
MEDIUM SERVICE
7.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 20 Loss.
▸ Gain 20 Moat.
▸ Profit 20.
Buzzword
Leveraged
Leveraged
▸ +25% Loss, and also apply 1 Debt to yourself.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Debt
Recurring Loss that ignores Moat and never goes away on its own.
◆ 20 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈ 8
Chief Storyteller

Chief Storyteller

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
10.0
SEC
▸ Permanently gain +10 Valuation.
▸ Gain 8 Moat.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
◆ 8 Funding
Full Dossier →

Enacted corporate policies

Word of Mouth
◆
#1

Word of Mouth

POLICY
▸ When one of your Humans activates, Fast Track a random Human 0.35s.
Keywords
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 60 Funding
Old Money Rules
◆
#2

Old Money Rules

POLICY
▸ Start each battle with 100 Moat.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 180 Funding
Move Fast
◆
#3

Move Fast

POLICY
▸ Your Machines have +6% Windfall chance.
Keywords
Windfall
Chance for an asset to inflict double Loss, Profit, Revenue, Moat, Debt, and Scandal when it acts.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 75 Funding
Aggressive Expansion
◆
#4

Aggressive Expansion

POLICY
▸ Permanently gain +50 Valuation.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 30 Funding
Trust Disbursement
◆
#5

Trust Disbursement

POLICY
▸ At the start of each Year, receive 4 Funding.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 6 Funding
Hostile Takeover
◆
#6

Hostile Takeover

POLICY
▸ When the Market Crash begins, inflict Loss equal to 60% of your Moat.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Market Crash
After 30 seconds, everyone loses money — fast, and it gets worse.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 11 Funding
Aggressive Pricing
◆
#7

Aggressive Pricing

POLICY
▸ Market Share 2%: a percentage of Loss dealt to rival Cash returns as Profit.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Market Share
A percentage of Loss dealt to rival Cash returns as Profit.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 60 Funding
Fortified
◆
#8

Fortified

POLICY
▸ Your assets grant 6% more Moat.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 65 Funding

Recent player encounters

Awaiting the first tracked showdown this quarter.

Score breakdown

Starting run record: 5W / 3L. Eligible final-board results: 0. Distinct opponents: 0.

Excluded repeated encounters: 0. Rating uncertainty: Not enough evidence. Your run's record sets the starting rating, and battles against same-year boards update it.