MARKET: +14.2% ▲ ALL-TIME HIGH MOM & POP: MOAT AT ATH ($840 Moat Absorbing) SCRAPPY: +38.5% ▲ 42x Unpaid Interns Leveraged SERGEI: +21.0% ▲ 10,000 Bot Workers Deployed BARON: -3.1% ▼ Injunction Overruled by Cayman Court AMAZOFF: -12.8% ▼ Liquidated in Year 4 SEC STATUS: 0 SUBPOENAS FILED (COMPLIANCE WAIVED) CRASH WARNING: T-30s TICK COMMENCING MARKET: +14.2% ▲ ALL-TIME HIGH MOM & POP: MOAT AT ATH ($840 Moat Absorbing) SCRAPPY: +38.5% ▲ 42x Unpaid Interns Leveraged SERGEI: +21.0% ▲ 10,000 Bot Workers Deployed BARON: -3.1% ▼ Injunction Overruled by Cayman Court AMAZOFF: -12.8% ▼ Liquidated in Year 4
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Boardroom Analytics

Macro trends across founders, corporate rivals, adopted policies, dilemmas, and vendor traffic.

CEO Retention & Funnel
Founders

CEO Retention & Funnel

Funnel & dropoff telemetry
Rivals & Encounters
Competition

Rivals & Encounters

Win rates & bout telemetry
Policy Performance
Directives

Policy Performance

Adoption & win rate meta
Dilemmas (Choices)
Decisions

Dilemmas (Choices)

Decision branch distribution
Vendors & Purchases
Commerce

Vendors & Purchases

Foot traffic & sales
Grants & Gifts
Endowments Active

Grants & Gifts

Offer conversion & windfalls

Seed Round

Seed Round

Uncle Jerry cut the check over dinner, with the firm understanding that his unemployed godson gets a desk and a title by Monday.

Acceptance Rate 38.8%
Offered / Seen: 160
Accepted: 62
Acceptance Rate: 38.8%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
A Familiar Face

A Familiar Face

An acquaintance from your previous venture drops by unannounced with a warm grin, pulling up a folding chair to lend a hand wherever needed.

Acceptance Rate 28.4%
Offered / Seen: 190
Accepted: 54
Acceptance Rate: 28.4%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
The Curbside Desk Haul

The Curbside Desk Haul

The crypto firm two doors down abandoned their standing desks on the curb at dawn, along with an unmonitored petty cash tin.

Acceptance Rate 30.2%
Offered / Seen: 169
Accepted: 51
Acceptance Rate: 30.2%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
The Walk-In Applicant

The Walk-In Applicant

A candidate in an ironed suit walked through reception, took a seat at the empty desk by the copier, and cleared half your filing backlog before anyone could ask for a resume.

Acceptance Rate 26.2%
Offered / Seen: 172
Accepted: 45
Acceptance Rate: 26.2%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
The Cocktail Napkin Strategy

The Cocktail Napkin Strategy

Two martinis into dinner at the steakhouse, a well-meaning advisor sketched an aggressive new operational playbook across a checkered paper napkin.

Acceptance Rate 26.2%
Offered / Seen: 168
Accepted: 44
Acceptance Rate: 26.2%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
Angel Investor

Angel Investor

A wealthy optimist writes a breathless check on the hood of his sedan, then pushes his sharpest intern through your front door.

Acceptance Rate 25.8%
Offered / Seen: 155
Accepted: 40
Acceptance Rate: 25.8%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
Municipal Innovation Grant

Municipal Innovation Grant

The city council voted 4-to-1 to approve your innovation grant, desperate to prove to the county that young companies still exist here.

Acceptance Rate 26.7%
Offered / Seen: 146
Accepted: 39
Acceptance Rate: 26.7%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
The Abandoned Lease

The Abandoned Lease

The tenant down the hall vanished overnight, leaving the landlord so eager to dodge probate paperwork that he tossed the brass keys straight onto your desk.

Acceptance Rate 22.8%
Offered / Seen: 171
Accepted: 39
Acceptance Rate: 22.8%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
The Angel Syndicate

The Angel Syndicate

Thirty-two orthodontists and a retired database architect just pooled their gambling money on your five-slide deck.

Acceptance Rate 29.5%
Offered / Seen: 129
Accepted: 38
Acceptance Rate: 29.5%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
The Corporate Mascot

The Corporate Mascot

A disoriented creature wandered into the executive parking structure on Tuesday. By Thursday afternoon, PR had issued it a laminated photo badge and a trademark clearance.

Acceptance Rate 18.5%
Offered / Seen: 168
Accepted: 31
Acceptance Rate: 18.5%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
Industry Award

Industry Award

You accepted 'Regional Disruptor of the Year' at a lukewarm hotel banquet and walked out with a glass trapezoid and an abandoned warehouse lease.

Acceptance Rate 12.9%
Offered / Seen: 171
Accepted: 22
Acceptance Rate: 12.9%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
Severance Package

Severance Package

The rival firm across the hall folded by lunchtime, leaving their security deposit and a stack of uncashed checks on your doormat.

Acceptance Rate 13.4%
Offered / Seen: 149
Accepted: 20
Acceptance Rate: 13.4%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
Neighborly Barter

Neighborly Barter

The bakery across the alley drops off fresh sourdough, promises to handle your morning deliveries, and only asks for a spare set of shop keys.

Acceptance Rate 41.5%
Offered / Seen: 41
Accepted: 17
Acceptance Rate: 41.5%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
The Local Pennysaver

The Local Pennysaver

Right beneath the varsity bowling scores and a coupon for dry cleaning, your company is officially the talk of the county.

Acceptance Rate 30.4%
Offered / Seen: 46
Accepted: 14
Acceptance Rate: 30.4%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
Surplus Clearance

Surplus Clearance

The diesel shop down the block couldn't fit their cast-iron hydraulic press onto the moving truck, so they pushed it through your bay doors with a wave.

Acceptance Rate 27.5%
Offered / Seen: 51
Accepted: 14
Acceptance Rate: 27.5%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
Ribbon-Cutting Ceremony

Ribbon-Cutting Ceremony

The mayor smiles through three flashbulbs, hands you two-foot novelty scissors, and slips a real revitalization check into your breast pocket.

Acceptance Rate 23.4%
Offered / Seen: 47
Accepted: 11
Acceptance Rate: 23.4%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
Hand-me-down Fixtures

Hand-me-down Fixtures

Old Man Henderson wheeled over forty years of polished oak counter space, along with a brass register that still had bills in the drawer.

Acceptance Rate 22.0%
Offered / Seen: 50
Accepted: 11
Acceptance Rate: 22.0%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
Family Gift

Family Gift

A musical greeting card arrives thick with crumpled twenties, cashier's checks, and a sticky note from Grandma: 'Don't let them beat you.'

Acceptance Rate 20.0%
Offered / Seen: 50
Accepted: 10
Acceptance Rate: 20.0%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
The Eager Apprentice

The Eager Apprentice

The teenager from down the hall shows up fifteen minutes early with an ironed button-down, a legal pad, and boundless, terrifying energy.

Acceptance Rate 23.1%
Offered / Seen: 39
Accepted: 9
Acceptance Rate: 23.1%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
The Neighborhood Stray

The Neighborhood Stray

Mrs. Gable left a taped cardboard box with air holes punched in the lid right beside the cash register, along with half a bag of kibble and an apologetic note.

Acceptance Rate 12.5%
Offered / Seen: 40
Accepted: 5
Acceptance Rate: 12.5%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
The Swag Bag

The Swag Bag

Beneath the stress balls, lanyards, and a branded fidget spinner, the conference tote bag turned out to hold one thing of actual value.

Acceptance Rate 100.0%
Offered / Seen: 2
Accepted: 2
Acceptance Rate: 100.0%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
Underground Meetup

Underground Meetup

In the back room of a shuttered bowling alley, a man in a lanyard explained a strategy that was either brilliant or a felony, then left through the kitchen.

Acceptance Rate 25.0%
Offered / Seen: 4
Accepted: 1
Acceptance Rate: 25.0%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
The Boomerang Hire

The Boomerang Hire

Your first intern, now a vice president somewhere with a climbing wall, quit on principle and came back for the old desk with a severance check and firm opinions about where to invest it.

Acceptance Rate 50.0%
Offered / Seen: 2
Accepted: 1
Acceptance Rate: 50.0%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
New Hire Orientation

New Hire Orientation

The new hire arrived on a Monday with a lanyard and a signing perk nobody remembers approving, and both of them stayed.

Acceptance Rate 100.0%
Offered / Seen: 1
Accepted: 1
Acceptance Rate: 100.0%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
Eminent Domain

Eminent Domain

The city condemned an entire block for a stadium that was never built, and somewhere in the settlement paperwork a parcel and a compensation check ended up in your name.

Acceptance Rate 100.0%
Offered / Seen: 1
Accepted: 1
Acceptance Rate: 100.0%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
Ribbon-Cutting Ceremony

Ribbon-Cutting Ceremony

The mayor smiles through three flashbulbs, hands you two-foot novelty scissors, and slips a real revitalization check into your breast pocket.

Acceptance Rate 100.0%
Offered / Seen: 1
Accepted: 1
Acceptance Rate: 100.0%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
Open Enrollment

Open Enrollment

HR's enrollment window closed while you were in a meeting, and the default plan turned out to include something the company actually wanted.

Acceptance Rate 100.0%
Offered / Seen: 1
Accepted: 1
Acceptance Rate: 100.0%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
The Swag Bag

The Swag Bag

Beneath the stress balls, lanyards, and a branded fidget spinner, the conference tote bag turned out to hold one thing of actual value.

Acceptance Rate 100.0%
Offered / Seen: 1
Accepted: 1
Acceptance Rate: 100.0%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
The Repo Lot

The Repo Lot

A hedge fund's toy collection was repossessed in the night, and the liquidator sold it by the pound to whoever showed up with a tow hitch.

Acceptance Rate 100.0%
Offered / Seen: 1
Accepted: 1
Acceptance Rate: 100.0%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
New Hire Orientation

New Hire Orientation

The new hire arrived on a Monday with a lanyard and a signing perk nobody remembers approving, and both of them stayed.

Acceptance Rate 100.0%
Offered / Seen: 1
Accepted: 1
Acceptance Rate: 100.0%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
The Storage Auction

The Storage Auction

You won a delinquent storage unit sight unseen, and behind three boxes of holiday decorations was something worth the drive.

Acceptance Rate 0.0%
Offered / Seen: 2
Accepted: 0
Acceptance Rate: 0.0%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
Upcycling

Upcycling

The maker space downstairs rebuilt a scrapped industrial unit as a weekend project, then discovered it no longer fit through their own door.

Acceptance Rate 0.0%
Offered / Seen: 1
Accepted: 0
Acceptance Rate: 0.0%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
The Divestiture

The Divestiture

A conglomerate spun off a division too big to explain to shareholders and too awkward to sell, then left it on your loading dock with the manual.

Acceptance Rate 0.0%
Offered / Seen: 1
Accepted: 0
Acceptance Rate: 0.0%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
The Unclaimed Crate

The Unclaimed Crate

Customs seized a shipment of live cargo nobody would sign for, and the auction house paid you to get the crate off their floor before it woke up.

Acceptance Rate 0.0%
Offered / Seen: 1
Accepted: 0
Acceptance Rate: 0.0%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
Neighborly Barter

Neighborly Barter

The bakery across the alley drops off fresh sourdough, promises to handle your morning deliveries, and only asks for a spare set of shop keys.

Acceptance Rate 0.0%
Offered / Seen: 1
Accepted: 0
Acceptance Rate: 0.0%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
Surplus Clearance

Surplus Clearance

The diesel shop down the block couldn't fit their cast-iron hydraulic press onto the moving truck, so they pushed it through your bay doors with a wave.

Acceptance Rate 0.0%
Offered / Seen: 1
Accepted: 0
Acceptance Rate: 0.0%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
The Walk-In Applicant

The Walk-In Applicant

A candidate in an ironed suit walked through reception, took a seat at the empty desk by the copier, and cleared half your filing backlog before anyone could ask for a resume.

Acceptance Rate 0.0%
Offered / Seen: 1
Accepted: 0
Acceptance Rate: 0.0%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
A Familiar Face

A Familiar Face

An acquaintance from your previous venture drops by unannounced with a warm grin, pulling up a folding chair to lend a hand wherever needed.

Acceptance Rate 0.0%
Offered / Seen: 1
Accepted: 0
Acceptance Rate: 0.0%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔
Orphaned Weights

Orphaned Weights

A shuttered lab left its model weights on a public server with a readme that just said 'please', and your engineers were the only ones who took it literally.

Acceptance Rate 0.0%
Offered / Seen: 1
Accepted: 0
Acceptance Rate: 0.0%
EXAMINE DOSSIER ➔