MARKET: +14.2% ▲ ALL-TIME HIGH MOM & POP: MOAT AT ATH ($840 Moat Absorbing) SCRAPPY: +38.5% ▲ 42x Unpaid Interns Leveraged SERGEI: +21.0% ▲ 10,000 Bot Workers Deployed BARON: -3.1% ▼ Injunction Overruled by Cayman Court AMAZOFF: -12.8% ▼ Liquidated in Year 4 SEC STATUS: 0 SUBPOENAS FILED (COMPLIANCE WAIVED) CRASH WARNING: T-30s TICK COMMENCING MARKET: +14.2% ▲ ALL-TIME HIGH MOM & POP: MOAT AT ATH ($840 Moat Absorbing) SCRAPPY: +38.5% ▲ 42x Unpaid Interns Leveraged SERGEI: +21.0% ▲ 10,000 Bot Workers Deployed BARON: -3.1% ▼ Injunction Overruled by Cayman Court AMAZOFF: -12.8% ▼ Liquidated in Year 4
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Corporate Dossier
Ultracapitalism / Company Archives Market Domination
Mom & Pop, company founder
Founded by Mom & Pop

Kitchen Table Cloud

9 Years in business
Filed October 17, 2026 at 08:09 UTC

Financial Summary

Final Valuation
$660
Final Liquid Funding
$2,014
Fiscal Review Record
8 Wins / 1 Setbacks

Asset Portfolio

▼ 15 ◈ 5
Middle Manager

Middle Manager

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
6.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 15 Loss.
▸ When you use an adjacent Employee, inflict 10 Loss and gain 5 Moat.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
◆ 11 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈ 40
Graphic Designer

Graphic Designer

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Gain 40 Moat.
▸ When you use an adjacent Employee, gain 20 Moat.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
◆ 30 Funding
Full Dossier →
▼ 30 ▲ 20
Pop
Blockchain-Enabled
Blockchain-Enabled

Pop

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 30 Loss.
▸ Profit 20.
▸ Whenever this is Fast Tracked, Profit 30.
Buzzword
Blockchain-Enabled
Blockchain-Enabled
▸ Also gain 1 Revenue.
Keywords
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 22 Funding
Full Dossier →
▲ 15
Community Manager

Community Manager

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN
6.0
SEC
▸ Profit 15.
▸ When an adjacent asset activates, Profit 15.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
◆ 9 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈ 250
Mom

Mom

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
9.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track adjacent Humans 2s.
▸ Whenever you Surplus, gain 250% of it as Moat.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Surplus
Profit beyond your Valuation is lost — but some cards pay off when it happens.
◆ 37 Funding
Full Dossier →
▲ 300
Rest & Vest

Rest & Vest

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
12.0
SEC
▸ Profit 300.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
◆ 35 Funding
Full Dossier →
▲ 100
Back Room

Back Room

BASIC
MEDIUM PROPERTY
15.0
SEC
▸ Profit 100.
▸ Whenever you Surplus, Fast Track your Employees 0.5s.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Surplus
Profit beyond your Valuation is lost — but some cards pay off when it happens.
◆ 30 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈ 40
Sunday Dinner
✦ MVP ✦

Sunday Dinner

PLUS
MEDIUM SCHEME
9.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track your Humans 3s.
▸ Gain 40 Moat.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 35 Funding
Full Dossier →

Corporate Policies

Credit On The House
◆
#1

Credit On The House

POLICY
▸ Start each battle with no Debt.
▸ When Debt is applied to you, remove 1 of it.
Keywords
Debt
Recurring Loss that ignores Moat and never goes away on its own.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 130 Funding
Weathered the Storm
◆
#2

Weathered the Storm

POLICY
▸ When the Market Crash begins, gain 20 Moat for each Human you have.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Market Crash
After 30 seconds, everyone loses money — fast, and it gets worse.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 90 Funding
Twenty-Three Years
◆
#3

Twenty-Three Years

POLICY
▸ Your assets grant 20 more Moat.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 395 Funding
Lean Operations
◆
#4

Lean Operations

POLICY
▸ Your assets act 0.1s faster.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 50 Funding
Living Wage
◆
#5

Living Wage

POLICY
▸ Your Humans act 3% faster.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 45 Funding
Open Door Policy
◆
#6

Open Door Policy

POLICY
▸ When one of your Employees is Slowed, Fast Track it 1.5s.
Keywords
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Slow
The asset works at half speed while Slowed.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 90 Funding
Passive Income
◆
#7

Passive Income

POLICY
▸ At the beginning of each year, gain +1 Revenue.
Keywords
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 3 Funding
Shop Local
PLUS
◆
#8

Shop Local

POLICY PLUS
▸ Whenever you Surplus, gain 8 Moat.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Surplus
Profit beyond your Valuation is lost — but some cards pay off when it happens.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 95 Funding

Fiscal Growth Timeline

RESILIENT TURNAROUND
Cumulative Wins
Cumulative Losses
Bankruptcy Limit (3)
Absorbing an early setback and valuation crash to $95, the enterprise rallied with consecutive wins to achieve Market Domination.
FINAL OUTCOME • FISCAL YEAR 9 • $660 VALUATION • 8 Wins / 1 Setbacks
0 Baseline 2 ▲ 3 BANKRUPTCY 4 6 ★ 8 DOMINATION Yr 1 $95 Fiscal Year 1: 1 Wins, 0 Setbacks, $95 Valuation Yr 2 $155 Fiscal Year 2: 2 Wins, 0 Setbacks, $155 Valuation Yr 3 $215 Fiscal Year 3: 3 Wins, 0 Setbacks, $215 Valuation Yr 4 $280 Fiscal Year 4: 4 Wins, 0 Setbacks, $280 Valuation Yr 5 $350 Fiscal Year 5: 4 Wins, 1 Setbacks, $350 Valuation Yr 6 $435 Fiscal Year 6: 5 Wins, 1 Setbacks, $435 Valuation Yr 7 $510 Fiscal Year 7: 6 Wins, 1 Setbacks, $510 Valuation Yr 8 $585 Fiscal Year 8: 7 Wins, 1 Setbacks, $585 Valuation Yr 9 $660 Fiscal Year 9: 8 Wins, 1 Setbacks, $660 Valuation
Audit Raw Fiscal Records (Tabular Breakdown)
Fiscal Year Closing Valuation Cumulative Wins Cumulative Setbacks Status
Year 1 $95 1 0 Stable
Year 2 $155 2 0 Stable
Year 3 $215 3 0 Stable
Year 4 $280 4 0 Stable
Year 5 $350 4 1 Setback
Year 6 $435 5 1 Stable
Year 7 $510 6 1 Stable
Year 8 $585 7 1 Stable
Year 9 $660 8 1 Domination

Quarterly Shareholder Report →

Ongoing Boardroom Performance

At each year-end, an audit snapshot of Kitchen Table Cloud is filed to challenge rival corporate executives during their End-of-Year Showdowns.

Showdown Record
0W / 0L
0 battles logged to date
Board Win Rate
—
Awaiting first showdown
Active Board Snapshots
0 Filings
Archived record

Exhibit / Corporate Fingerprint

Company DNA

Composition of the final board

4 types
One corporate identity
  • Human ×6
    Human / 6 assets
    • Middle Manager
    • Graphic Designer
    • Pop
    • Community Manager
    • Mom
    • Rest & Vest
  • Employee ×5
    Employee / 5 assets
    • Middle Manager
    • Graphic Designer
    • Pop
    • Mom
    • Rest & Vest
  • Property ×1
    Property / 1 asset
    • Back Room
  • Scheme ×1
    Scheme / 1 asset
    • Sunday Dinner
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