MARKET: +14.2% ▲ ALL-TIME HIGH MOM & POP: MOAT AT ATH ($840 Moat Absorbing) SCRAPPY: +38.5% ▲ 42x Unpaid Interns Leveraged SERGEI: +21.0% ▲ 10,000 Bot Workers Deployed BARON: -3.1% ▼ Injunction Overruled by Cayman Court AMAZOFF: -12.8% ▼ Liquidated in Year 4 SEC STATUS: 0 SUBPOENAS FILED (COMPLIANCE WAIVED) CRASH WARNING: T-30s TICK COMMENCING MARKET: +14.2% ▲ ALL-TIME HIGH MOM & POP: MOAT AT ATH ($840 Moat Absorbing) SCRAPPY: +38.5% ▲ 42x Unpaid Interns Leveraged SERGEI: +21.0% ▲ 10,000 Bot Workers Deployed BARON: -3.1% ▼ Injunction Overruled by Cayman Court AMAZOFF: -12.8% ▼ Liquidated in Year 4
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Baron

QUARTERLY SHAREHOLDER REPORT · 2026-Q4

Sterling LLC

Baron, Old Money · Final year 3 · Bankruptcy

Bankrupt · History retained

ALL ANNUAL BOARDS THIS QUARTER0W / 0L
DOMINANCE—
YEAR 3 PLACEMENT—

Final board

▼ 80
Consultant

Consultant

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE SERVICE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 80 Loss.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
◆ 30 Funding
Full Dossier →
▼ 20 ▲ 20
Hard Worker

Hard Worker

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 20 Loss.
▸ Profit 20.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
◆ 14 Funding
Full Dossier →
⇈ 2
Interest Check

Interest Check

BASIC
SMALL PROPERTY
8.0
SEC
▸ Gain 2 Revenue.
Keywords
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
◆ 4 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈ 40
Fail Whale
Lean
✦ MVP ✦
Lean

Fail Whale

BASIC
LARGE ANIMAL MACHINE
8.0
SEC
▸ Audit a random rival asset for 2s.
▸ Gain 40 Moat.
Buzzword
Lean
Lean
▸ 0.5s faster.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Audit
The asset stops entirely while under Audit.
◆ 17 Funding
Full Dossier →
▼ 30 ◈ 10
Middle Manager

Middle Manager

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
6.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 30 Loss.
▸ When you use an adjacent Employee, inflict 20 Loss and gain 10 Moat.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
◆ 22 Funding
Full Dossier →
▲ 100
Shaved Yak

Shaved Yak

PLUS
SMALL ANIMAL
12.0
SEC
▸ Slow adjacent assets 2s.
▸ Profit 100.
▸ Permanently gain +20 Valuation.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Slow
The asset works at half speed while Slowed.
◆ 16 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈ #8
◈ #9

Enacted corporate policies

Old Money Rules
◆
#1

Old Money Rules

POLICY
▸ Start each battle with 100 Moat.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 180 Funding
Regulatory Capture
◆
#2

Regulatory Capture

POLICY
▸ When you apply Scandal, gain 6 Moat.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Scandal
Fast recurring Loss that ignores Moat — but it blows over.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 75 Funding
POLICY SLOT
#3
POLICY SLOT
#4
POLICY SLOT
#5
POLICY SLOT
#6
POLICY SLOT
#7
POLICY SLOT
#8

Recent player encounters

Awaiting the first tracked showdown this quarter.

Score breakdown

Starting run record: 0W / 3L. Eligible final-board results: 0. Distinct opponents: 0.

Excluded repeated encounters: 0. Rating uncertainty: Not enough evidence. Your run's record sets the starting rating, and battles against same-year boards update it.

Annual Boardroom Snapshots

Historical portfolio audits captured at the conclusion of each fiscal year.

3 Years Archived
YEAR 1 $160 0W - 0S
Assets
Consultant
+

Consultant

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE SERVICE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 80 Loss.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
◆ 30 Funding
Full Dossier →
Fail Whale

Fail Whale

BASIC
LARGE ANIMAL MACHINE
8.0
SEC
▸ Audit a random rival asset for 2s.
▸ Gain 40 Moat.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Audit
The asset stops entirely while under Audit.
◆ 17 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈
◈
◈
◈
◈
◈
YEAR 2 $260 0W - 1S
Assets
Consultant
+

Consultant

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE SERVICE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 80 Loss.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
◆ 30 Funding
Full Dossier →
Hard Worker
+

Hard Worker

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 20 Loss.
▸ Profit 20.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
◆ 14 Funding
Full Dossier →
Interest Check

Interest Check

BASIC
SMALL PROPERTY
8.0
SEC
▸ Gain 2 Revenue.
Keywords
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
◆ 4 Funding
Full Dossier →
Shaved Yak
+

Shaved Yak

PLUS
SMALL ANIMAL
12.0
SEC
▸ Slow adjacent assets 2s.
▸ Profit 100.
▸ Permanently gain +20 Valuation.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Slow
The asset works at half speed while Slowed.
◆ 16 Funding
Full Dossier →
Middle Manager

Middle Manager

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
6.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 15 Loss.
▸ When you use an adjacent Employee, inflict 10 Loss and gain 5 Moat.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
◆ 11 Funding
Full Dossier →
Final Notice

Final Notice

BASIC
SMALL SCHEME
8.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 36 Loss.
▸ Stock 2.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Stock
Limited uses. At 0 Stock, the asset cannot act until Restocked.
◆ 4 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈
◈
◈
◈
Policies
Old Money Rules

Old Money Rules

POLICY
▸ Start each battle with 100 Moat.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 180 Funding
YEAR 3 $340 0W - 2S
Assets
Consultant
+

Consultant

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE SERVICE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 80 Loss.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
◆ 30 Funding
Full Dossier →
Hard Worker
+

Hard Worker

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 20 Loss.
▸ Profit 20.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
◆ 14 Funding
Full Dossier →
Interest Check

Interest Check

BASIC
SMALL PROPERTY
8.0
SEC
▸ Gain 2 Revenue.
Keywords
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
◆ 4 Funding
Full Dossier →
Fail Whale
⚡
Lean

Fail Whale

BASIC
LARGE ANIMAL MACHINE
8.0
SEC
▸ Audit a random rival asset for 2s.
▸ Gain 40 Moat.
Buzzword
Lean
Lean
▸ 0.5s faster.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Audit
The asset stops entirely while under Audit.
◆ 17 Funding
Full Dossier →
Middle Manager
+

Middle Manager

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
6.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 30 Loss.
▸ When you use an adjacent Employee, inflict 20 Loss and gain 10 Moat.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
◆ 22 Funding
Full Dossier →
Shaved Yak
+

Shaved Yak

PLUS
SMALL ANIMAL
12.0
SEC
▸ Slow adjacent assets 2s.
▸ Profit 100.
▸ Permanently gain +20 Valuation.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Slow
The asset works at half speed while Slowed.
◆ 16 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈
◈
Policies
Old Money Rules

Old Money Rules

POLICY
▸ Start each battle with 100 Moat.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 180 Funding
Regulatory Capture

Regulatory Capture

POLICY
▸ When you apply Scandal, gain 6 Moat.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Scandal
Fast recurring Loss that ignores Moat — but it blows over.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 75 Funding