MARKET: +14.2% ▲ ALL-TIME HIGH MOM & POP: MOAT AT ATH ($840 Moat Absorbing) SCRAPPY: +38.5% ▲ 42x Unpaid Interns Leveraged SERGEI: +21.0% ▲ 10,000 Bot Workers Deployed BARON: -3.1% ▼ Injunction Overruled by Cayman Court AMAZOFF: -12.8% ▼ Liquidated in Year 4 SEC STATUS: 0 SUBPOENAS FILED (COMPLIANCE WAIVED) CRASH WARNING: T-30s TICK COMMENCING MARKET: +14.2% ▲ ALL-TIME HIGH MOM & POP: MOAT AT ATH ($840 Moat Absorbing) SCRAPPY: +38.5% ▲ 42x Unpaid Interns Leveraged SERGEI: +21.0% ▲ 10,000 Bot Workers Deployed BARON: -3.1% ▼ Injunction Overruled by Cayman Court AMAZOFF: -12.8% ▼ Liquidated in Year 4
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Mom & Pop

QUARTERLY SHAREHOLDER REPORT · 2026-Q4

Paradigm Strategies

Mom & Pop, No Exit Strategy · Final year 4 · Bankruptcy

Bankrupt · History retained

ALL ANNUAL BOARDS THIS QUARTER0W / 2L
DOMINANCE—
YEAR 4 PLACEMENT—

Final board

◈ 40
Fail Whale

Fail Whale

BASIC
LARGE ANIMAL MACHINE
8.0
SEC
▸ Audit a random rival asset for 2s.
▸ Gain 40 Moat.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Audit
The asset stops entirely while under Audit.
◆ 17 Funding
Full Dossier →
▼ 15
Forensic Accountant

Forensic Accountant

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Audit the rival's fastest asset 1s.
▸ Whenever a rival asset is Audited, inflict 15 Loss.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Audit
The asset stops entirely while under Audit.
◆ 4 Funding
Full Dossier →
▼ 10
Personal Trainer
✦ MVP ✦

Personal Trainer

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN SERVICE BENEFIT
6.0
SEC
▸ The Employee to your right gains +10 Loss.
▸ Overwork it 1.5s.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Overwork
The asset works twice as fast while Overworked.
◆ 10 Funding
Full Dossier →
▼ 10
Project Manager

Project Manager

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
8.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 10 Loss.
▸ Fast Track an adjacent Employee 1s.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 3 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈ 25
Watchdog

Watchdog

BASIC
SMALL ANIMAL SERVICE
7.0
SEC
▸ Gain 25 Moat.
▸ Audit a rival Scheme 5s.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Audit
The asset stops entirely while under Audit.
◆ 15 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈ #7
◈ #8
◈ #9

Enacted corporate policies

Open Door Policy
◆
#1

Open Door Policy

POLICY
▸ When one of your Employees is Slowed, Fast Track it 1.5s.
Keywords
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Slow
The asset works at half speed while Slowed.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 90 Funding
Passive Income
◆
#2

Passive Income

POLICY
▸ At the beginning of each year, gain +1 Revenue.
Keywords
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 3 Funding
Here Tomorrow
◆
#3

Here Tomorrow

POLICY
▸ After a lost battle, receive 4 Funding.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 6 Funding
POLICY SLOT
#4
POLICY SLOT
#5
POLICY SLOT
#6
POLICY SLOT
#7
POLICY SLOT
#8

Recent player encounters

LOSS vs. Tessellate Tesselations Qualifying
LOSS vs. Brambleberry Jam Co. Qualifying
Score breakdown

Starting run record: 1W / 3L. Eligible final-board results: 0. Distinct opponents: 0.

Excluded repeated encounters: 0. Rating uncertainty: Not enough evidence. Your run's record sets the starting rating, and battles against same-year boards update it.

Annual Boardroom Snapshots

Historical portfolio audits captured at the conclusion of each fiscal year.

4 Years Archived
YEAR 1 $115 1W - 0S
Assets
Project Manager

Project Manager

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
8.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 10 Loss.
▸ Fast Track an adjacent Employee 1s.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 3 Funding
Full Dossier →
Pop

Pop

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 30 Loss.
▸ Profit 20.
▸ Whenever this is Fast Tracked, Profit 30.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 22 Funding
Full Dossier →
Weekend Help
+

Weekend Help

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN
4.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track the Human to your left 1.5s and the Human to your right 2.5s.
Keywords
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 26 Funding
Full Dossier →
Mom

Mom

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
9.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track adjacent Humans 2s.
▸ Whenever you Surplus, gain 250% of it as Moat.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Surplus
Profit beyond your Valuation is lost — but some cards pay off when it happens.
◆ 37 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈
◈
◈
◈
◈
◈
YEAR 2 $165 1W - 1S
Assets
Pop

Pop

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 30 Loss.
▸ Profit 20.
▸ Whenever this is Fast Tracked, Profit 30.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 22 Funding
Full Dossier →
Open Office

Open Office

BASIC
MEDIUM PROPERTY
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 15.
▸ When you use an adjacent Human, Fast Track your adjacent Humans 1s and Profit 15.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 14 Funding
Full Dossier →
Weekend Help
+

Weekend Help

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN
4.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track the Human to your left 1.5s and the Human to your right 2.5s.
Keywords
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 26 Funding
Full Dossier →
Mom

Mom

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
9.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track adjacent Humans 2s.
▸ Whenever you Surplus, gain 250% of it as Moat.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Surplus
Profit beyond your Valuation is lost — but some cards pay off when it happens.
◆ 37 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈
◈
◈
◈
◈
Policies
Open Door Policy

Open Door Policy

POLICY
▸ When one of your Employees is Slowed, Fast Track it 1.5s.
Keywords
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Slow
The asset works at half speed while Slowed.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 90 Funding
YEAR 3 $290 1W - 2S
Assets
Fail Whale

Fail Whale

BASIC
LARGE ANIMAL MACHINE
8.0
SEC
▸ Audit a random rival asset for 2s.
▸ Gain 40 Moat.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Audit
The asset stops entirely while under Audit.
◆ 17 Funding
Full Dossier →
Forensic Accountant

Forensic Accountant

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Audit the rival's fastest asset 1s.
▸ Whenever a rival asset is Audited, inflict 15 Loss.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Audit
The asset stops entirely while under Audit.
◆ 4 Funding
Full Dossier →
Project Manager

Project Manager

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
8.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 10 Loss.
▸ Fast Track an adjacent Employee 1s.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 3 Funding
Full Dossier →
Watchdog

Watchdog

BASIC
SMALL ANIMAL SERVICE
7.0
SEC
▸ Gain 25 Moat.
▸ Audit a rival Scheme 5s.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Audit
The asset stops entirely while under Audit.
◆ 15 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈
◈
◈
◈
Policies
Open Door Policy

Open Door Policy

POLICY
▸ When one of your Employees is Slowed, Fast Track it 1.5s.
Keywords
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Slow
The asset works at half speed while Slowed.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 90 Funding
Passive Income

Passive Income

POLICY
▸ At the beginning of each year, gain +1 Revenue.
Keywords
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 3 Funding
YEAR 4 $290 1W - 3S
Assets
Fail Whale

Fail Whale

BASIC
LARGE ANIMAL MACHINE
8.0
SEC
▸ Audit a random rival asset for 2s.
▸ Gain 40 Moat.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Audit
The asset stops entirely while under Audit.
◆ 17 Funding
Full Dossier →
Forensic Accountant

Forensic Accountant

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸ Audit the rival's fastest asset 1s.
▸ Whenever a rival asset is Audited, inflict 15 Loss.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Audit
The asset stops entirely while under Audit.
◆ 4 Funding
Full Dossier →
Personal Trainer
+

Personal Trainer

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN SERVICE BENEFIT
6.0
SEC
▸ The Employee to your right gains +10 Loss.
▸ Overwork it 1.5s.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Overwork
The asset works twice as fast while Overworked.
◆ 10 Funding
Full Dossier →
Project Manager

Project Manager

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
8.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 10 Loss.
▸ Fast Track an adjacent Employee 1s.
Keywords
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 3 Funding
Full Dossier →
Watchdog

Watchdog

BASIC
SMALL ANIMAL SERVICE
7.0
SEC
▸ Gain 25 Moat.
▸ Audit a rival Scheme 5s.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Audit
The asset stops entirely while under Audit.
◆ 15 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈
◈
◈
Policies
Open Door Policy

Open Door Policy

POLICY
▸ When one of your Employees is Slowed, Fast Track it 1.5s.
Keywords
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Slow
The asset works at half speed while Slowed.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 90 Funding
Passive Income

Passive Income

POLICY
▸ At the beginning of each year, gain +1 Revenue.
Keywords
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 3 Funding
Here Tomorrow

Here Tomorrow

POLICY
▸ After a lost battle, receive 4 Funding.
Inspect Directive Dossier →
◆ 6 Funding