Lean
▸
0.5s faster.
Corporate Dossier
Ultracapitalism / Company Archives
Bankruptcy Filed
Financial Summary
- Final Valuation
- $200
- Final Liquid Funding
- $468
- Fiscal Review Record
- 0 Wins / 3 Setbacks
Asset Portfolio
Hard Worker
SMALL
HUMAN
EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸
Inflict 10 Loss.
▸
Profit 10.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Rubber Duck
SMALL
ANIMAL
SERVICE
4.0
SEC
▸
Fast Track an adjacent Employee 1.5s.
Keywords
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Volunteer
SMALL
HUMAN
6.0
SEC
▸
Inflict 20 Loss.
▸
Profit 20.
▸
Always costs 0 Funding.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Multi-Level Marketer
SMALL
HUMAN
SCHEME
6.0
SEC
▸
Profit 15 for each Human you control.
▸
When an adjacent Human Profits, inflict 20 Loss.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Lean
Temp Worker
SMALL
HUMAN
EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸
Profit 50.
▸
Inflict 50 Loss.
▸
Liquidate this.
Buzzword
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Liquidate
Removed for the rest of the battle.
Refinance
SMALL
SCHEME
6.0
SEC
▸
Remove 4 Debt.
▸
Profit 10.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Debt
Recurring Loss that ignores Moat and never goes away on its own.
Scrum Master
SMALL
HUMAN
EMPLOYEE
9.0
SEC
▸
Fast Track adjacent Employees 1s.
▸
Profit 15.
▸
Scale +1 while adjacent to an Employee.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Scale
The asset's effects trigger additional times each time it acts.
◈
◈
◈
◈
✦ MVP ✦
Petty Cash
SMALL
PROPERTY
4.0
SEC
▸
Profit 80.
▸
Stock 4.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Stock
Limited uses. At 0 Stock, the asset cannot act until Restocked.
◈
#8
◈
#9
Corporate Policies
◆
#1
POLICY
▸
When one of your Humans activates, Fast Track a random Human 0.35s.
Keywords
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆
#2
POLICY
▸
After a won battle, permanently gain +1 Revenue.
Keywords
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
#3
#4
#5
#6
#7
#8
Fiscal Growth Timeline
INSOLVENCY FILED
Cumulative Wins
Cumulative Losses
Bankruptcy Limit (3)
Conceded 3 fatal setbacks by Fiscal Year 3, triggering mandatory corporate bankruptcy.
Audit Raw Fiscal Records (Tabular Breakdown)
| Fiscal Year | Closing Valuation | Cumulative Wins | Cumulative Setbacks | Status |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Year 1 | $90 | 0 | 1 | Setback |
| Year 2 | $140 | 0 | 2 | 1 Strike Left |
| Year 3 | $200 | 0 | 3 | Bankrupt |
Quarterly Shareholder Report →
Ongoing Boardroom Performance
At each year-end, an audit snapshot of Instant Noodle Equity is filed to challenge rival corporate executives during their End-of-Year Showdowns.
Showdown Record
0W
/
0L
0 battles logged to date
Board Win Rate
—
Awaiting first showdown
Active Board Snapshots
1 Filing
Years 1 through 3
Annual Boardroom Snapshots
Historical portfolio audits captured at the conclusion of each fiscal year.
Assets
BASIC
BASIC
BASIC
BASIC
Lean
BASIC
BASIC
BASIC
+
PLUS
Hard Worker
SMALL
HUMAN
EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸
Inflict 10 Loss.
▸
Profit 10.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Rubber Duck
SMALL
ANIMAL
SERVICE
4.0
SEC
▸
Fast Track an adjacent Employee 1.5s.
Keywords
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Volunteer
SMALL
HUMAN
6.0
SEC
▸
Inflict 20 Loss.
▸
Profit 20.
▸
Always costs 0 Funding.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Multi-Level Marketer
SMALL
HUMAN
SCHEME
6.0
SEC
▸
Profit 15 for each Human you control.
▸
When an adjacent Human Profits, inflict 20 Loss.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
⚡
Lean
Temp Worker
SMALL
HUMAN
EMPLOYEE
7.0
SEC
▸
Profit 50.
▸
Inflict 50 Loss.
▸
Liquidate this.
Buzzword
Lean
▸
0.5s faster.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Liquidate
Removed for the rest of the battle.
Refinance
SMALL
SCHEME
6.0
SEC
▸
Remove 4 Debt.
▸
Profit 10.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Debt
Recurring Loss that ignores Moat and never goes away on its own.
Scrum Master
SMALL
HUMAN
EMPLOYEE
9.0
SEC
▸
Fast Track adjacent Employees 1s.
▸
Profit 15.
▸
Scale +1 while adjacent to an Employee.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Scale
The asset's effects trigger additional times each time it acts.
Petty Cash
SMALL
PROPERTY
4.0
SEC
▸
Profit 80.
▸
Stock 4.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Stock
Limited uses. At 0 Stock, the asset cannot act until Restocked.
◈
◈
Policies
POLICY
▸
When one of your Humans activates, Fast Track a random Human 0.35s.
Keywords
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
POLICY
▸
After a won battle, permanently gain +1 Revenue.
Keywords
Revenue
Recurring Profit every second.
Exhibit / Corporate Fingerprint
Company DNA
Composition of the final board
One corporate identity
-
Human ×5
Human / 5 assets- Hard Worker
- Volunteer
- Multi-Level Marketer
- Temp Worker
- Scrum Master
-
Employee ×3
Employee / 3 assets- Hard Worker
- Temp Worker
- Scrum Master
-
Scheme ×2
Scheme / 2 assets- Multi-Level Marketer
- Refinance
-
Animal ×1
Animal / 1 asset- Rubber Duck
-
Property ×1
Property / 1 asset- Petty Cash
-
Service ×1
Service / 1 asset- Rubber Duck
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