MARKET: +14.2% ▲ ALL-TIME HIGH MOM & POP: MOAT AT ATH ($840 Moat Absorbing) SCRAPPY: +38.5% ▲ 42x Unpaid Interns Leveraged SERGEI: +21.0% ▲ 10,000 Bot Workers Deployed BARON: -3.1% ▼ Injunction Overruled by Cayman Court AMAZOFF: -12.8% ▼ Liquidated in Year 4 SEC STATUS: 0 SUBPOENAS FILED (COMPLIANCE WAIVED) CRASH WARNING: T-30s TICK COMMENCING MARKET: +14.2% ▲ ALL-TIME HIGH MOM & POP: MOAT AT ATH ($840 Moat Absorbing) SCRAPPY: +38.5% ▲ 42x Unpaid Interns Leveraged SERGEI: +21.0% ▲ 10,000 Bot Workers Deployed BARON: -3.1% ▼ Injunction Overruled by Cayman Court AMAZOFF: -12.8% ▼ Liquidated in Year 4
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Corporate Dossier
Ultracapitalism / Company Archives Bankruptcy Filed
Mom & Pop, company founder
Founded by Mom & Pop

Copper Kettle Provisions

4 Years in business
Filed November 04, 2026 at 08:04 UTC

Financial Summary

Final Valuation
$280
Final Liquid Funding
$468
Fiscal Review Record
1 Wins / 3 Setbacks

Asset Portfolio

◈ 250
Mom

Mom

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
9.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track adjacent Humans 2s.
▸ Whenever you Surplus, gain 250% of it as Moat.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Surplus
Profit beyond your Valuation is lost — but some cards pay off when it happens.
◆ 37 Funding
Full Dossier →
▼ 60 ▲ 40
Pop
✦ MVP ✦

Pop

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 60 Loss.
▸ Profit 40.
▸ Whenever this is Fast Tracked, Profit 60.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 45 Funding
Full Dossier →
▲ 15
Open Office

Open Office

BASIC
MEDIUM PROPERTY
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 15.
▸ When you use an adjacent Human, Fast Track your adjacent Humans 1s and Profit 15.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 14 Funding
Full Dossier →
▲ 5
Inventory Clerk

Inventory Clerk

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸ Restock the asset to your left 1.
▸ Profit 5 for each asset you have with Stock.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Stock
Limited uses. At 0 Stock, the asset cannot act until Restocked.
◆ 4 Funding
Full Dossier →
▲ 40
Petty Cash
◈ ◈ ◈

Petty Cash

BASIC
SMALL PROPERTY
4.0
SEC
▸ Profit 40.
▸ Stock 3.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Stock
Limited uses. At 0 Stock, the asset cannot act until Restocked.
◆ 7 Funding
Full Dossier →
#6
Teacher

Teacher

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
8.0
SEC
▸ The Employee to your right permanently gains +2 Profit.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
◆ 6 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈ #7
◈ #8
◈ #9

Corporate Policies

Shelf Appeal
◆
#1

Shelf Appeal

UNRELEASED POLICY
▸ Your assets with Stock Profit 20 more.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Stock
Limited uses. At 0 Stock, the asset cannot act until Restocked.
◆ 150 Funding
Human Touch
◆
#2

Human Touch

UNRELEASED POLICY
▸ When a rival AI acts, Fast Track a random Human 1s.
Keywords
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 60 Funding
Strategy Offsite
UNCOMMON
◆
#3

Strategy Offsite

UNRELEASED POLICY UNCOMMON
▸ When you level up, gain a random {tier} Scheme.
◆ 30 Funding
POLICY SLOT
#4
POLICY SLOT
#5
POLICY SLOT
#6
POLICY SLOT
#7
POLICY SLOT
#8

Fiscal Growth Timeline

INSOLVENCY FILED
Cumulative Wins
Cumulative Losses
Bankruptcy Limit (3)
Conceded 3 fatal setbacks by Fiscal Year 4, triggering mandatory corporate bankruptcy.
FINAL OUTCOME • FISCAL YEAR 4 • $280 VALUATION • 1 Wins / 3 Setbacks
0 Baseline 2 ▲ 3 BANKRUPTCY 4 6 ★ 8 DOMINATION Yr 1 $95 Fiscal Year 1: 1 Wins, 0 Setbacks, $95 Valuation Yr 2 $145 Fiscal Year 2: 1 Wins, 1 Setbacks, $145 Valuation Yr 3 $205 Fiscal Year 3: 1 Wins, 2 Setbacks, $205 Valuation Yr 4 $280 Fiscal Year 4: 1 Wins, 3 Setbacks, $280 Valuation
Audit Raw Fiscal Records (Tabular Breakdown)
Fiscal Year Closing Valuation Cumulative Wins Cumulative Setbacks Status
Year 1 $95 1 0 Stable
Year 2 $145 1 1 Setback
Year 3 $205 1 2 1 Strike Left
Year 4 $280 1 3 Bankrupt

Quarterly Shareholder Report →

Ongoing Boardroom Performance

At each year-end, an audit snapshot of Copper Kettle Provisions is filed to challenge rival corporate executives during their End-of-Year Showdowns.

Showdown Record
0W / 0L
0 battles logged to date
Board Win Rate
—
Awaiting first showdown
Active Board Snapshots
4 Filings
Years 1 through 4

Annual Boardroom Snapshots

Historical portfolio audits captured at the conclusion of each fiscal year.

4 Years Archived
YEAR 1 $95 1W - 0S
Assets
Pop

Pop

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 30 Loss.
▸ Profit 20.
▸ Whenever this is Fast Tracked, Profit 30.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 22 Funding
Full Dossier →
Mom

Mom

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
9.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track adjacent Humans 2s.
▸ Whenever you Surplus, gain 250% of it as Moat.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Surplus
Profit beyond your Valuation is lost — but some cards pay off when it happens.
◆ 37 Funding
Full Dossier →
Tech Writer
+

Tech Writer

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
6.0
SEC
▸ Gain 20 Moat.
▸ When you sell this, upgrade a random Machine.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
◆ 35 Funding
Full Dossier →
Tech Writer

Tech Writer

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
6.0
SEC
▸ Gain 10 Moat.
▸ When you sell this, upgrade a random Machine.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
◆ 17 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈
◈
◈
◈
◈
◈
YEAR 2 $145 1W - 1S
Assets
Mom

Mom

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
9.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track adjacent Humans 2s.
▸ Whenever you Surplus, gain 250% of it as Moat.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Surplus
Profit beyond your Valuation is lost — but some cards pay off when it happens.
◆ 37 Funding
Full Dossier →
Pop
+

Pop

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 60 Loss.
▸ Profit 40.
▸ Whenever this is Fast Tracked, Profit 60.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 45 Funding
Full Dossier →
Open Office

Open Office

BASIC
MEDIUM PROPERTY
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 15.
▸ When you use an adjacent Human, Fast Track your adjacent Humans 1s and Profit 15.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 14 Funding
Full Dossier →
Inventory Clerk

Inventory Clerk

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸ Restock the asset to your left 1.
▸ Profit 5 for each asset you have with Stock.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Stock
Limited uses. At 0 Stock, the asset cannot act until Restocked.
◆ 4 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈
◈
◈
◈
◈
Policies
Shelf Appeal

Shelf Appeal

UNRELEASED POLICY
▸ Your assets with Stock Profit 20 more.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Stock
Limited uses. At 0 Stock, the asset cannot act until Restocked.
◆ 150 Funding
YEAR 3 $205 1W - 2S
Assets
Mom

Mom

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
9.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track adjacent Humans 2s.
▸ Whenever you Surplus, gain 250% of it as Moat.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Surplus
Profit beyond your Valuation is lost — but some cards pay off when it happens.
◆ 37 Funding
Full Dossier →
Pop
+

Pop

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 60 Loss.
▸ Profit 40.
▸ Whenever this is Fast Tracked, Profit 60.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 45 Funding
Full Dossier →
Open Office

Open Office

BASIC
MEDIUM PROPERTY
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 15.
▸ When you use an adjacent Human, Fast Track your adjacent Humans 1s and Profit 15.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 14 Funding
Full Dossier →
Inventory Clerk

Inventory Clerk

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸ Restock the asset to your left 1.
▸ Profit 5 for each asset you have with Stock.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Stock
Limited uses. At 0 Stock, the asset cannot act until Restocked.
◆ 4 Funding
Full Dossier →
Petty Cash

Petty Cash

BASIC
SMALL PROPERTY
4.0
SEC
▸ Profit 40.
▸ Stock 3.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Stock
Limited uses. At 0 Stock, the asset cannot act until Restocked.
◆ 7 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈
◈
◈
◈
Policies
Shelf Appeal

Shelf Appeal

UNRELEASED POLICY
▸ Your assets with Stock Profit 20 more.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Stock
Limited uses. At 0 Stock, the asset cannot act until Restocked.
◆ 150 Funding
Human Touch

Human Touch

UNRELEASED POLICY
▸ When a rival AI acts, Fast Track a random Human 1s.
Keywords
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 60 Funding
YEAR 4 $280 1W - 3S
Assets
Mom

Mom

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
9.0
SEC
▸ Fast Track adjacent Humans 2s.
▸ Whenever you Surplus, gain 250% of it as Moat.
Keywords
Moat
Absorbs Loss before your Cash is touched. Debt and Scandal go through it.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
Surplus
Profit beyond your Valuation is lost — but some cards pay off when it happens.
◆ 37 Funding
Full Dossier →
Pop
+

Pop

PLUS
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸ Inflict 60 Loss.
▸ Profit 40.
▸ Whenever this is Fast Tracked, Profit 60.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Loss
Reduces the rival's Cash. Absorbed by Moat first.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 45 Funding
Full Dossier →
Open Office

Open Office

BASIC
MEDIUM PROPERTY
7.0
SEC
▸ Profit 15.
▸ When you use an adjacent Human, Fast Track your adjacent Humans 1s and Profit 15.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 14 Funding
Full Dossier →
Inventory Clerk

Inventory Clerk

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
5.0
SEC
▸ Restock the asset to your left 1.
▸ Profit 5 for each asset you have with Stock.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Stock
Limited uses. At 0 Stock, the asset cannot act until Restocked.
◆ 4 Funding
Full Dossier →
Petty Cash

Petty Cash

BASIC
SMALL PROPERTY
4.0
SEC
▸ Profit 40.
▸ Stock 3.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Stock
Limited uses. At 0 Stock, the asset cannot act until Restocked.
◆ 7 Funding
Full Dossier →
Teacher

Teacher

BASIC
SMALL HUMAN EMPLOYEE
8.0
SEC
▸ The Employee to your right permanently gains +2 Profit.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
◆ 6 Funding
Full Dossier →
◈
◈
◈
Policies
Shelf Appeal

Shelf Appeal

UNRELEASED POLICY
▸ Your assets with Stock Profit 20 more.
Keywords
Profit
Restores your Cash, up to your Valuation.
Stock
Limited uses. At 0 Stock, the asset cannot act until Restocked.
◆ 150 Funding
Human Touch

Human Touch

UNRELEASED POLICY
▸ When a rival AI acts, Fast Track a random Human 1s.
Keywords
Fast Track
Instantly advances an asset's progress toward acting.
◆ 60 Funding
Strategy Offsite

Strategy Offsite

UNRELEASED POLICY UNCOMMON
▸ When you level up, gain a random {tier} Scheme.
◆ 30 Funding

Exhibit / Corporate Fingerprint

Company DNA

Composition of the final board

3 types
One corporate identity
  • Employee ×4
    Employee / 4 assets
    • Mom
    • Pop
    • Inventory Clerk
    • Teacher
  • Human ×4
    Human / 4 assets
    • Mom
    • Pop
    • Inventory Clerk
    • Teacher
  • Property ×2
    Property / 2 assets
    • Open Office
    • Petty Cash
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